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Ok my friend John Hartford who runs Eccentre and the Sumerland list posted this. Author Salman Rushdie (Fury, The Satanic Verses) and somehow who've has earned the wrath of Shiite Fundamentalists with a price on his head wrote a piece on the Washington Post about The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers, Gangs of New York and the upcoming war on Iraq. A must read. I'm just copying the whole article for your reading pleasure. Copyrights and all rights reserved to the respective parties and all that. So without further delay here it is.

Getting Into Gang War
By Salman Rushdie
Wednesday, December 25, 2002; Page A29

As the world prepares for war, two extraordinary portraits of human conflict are offered at movie theaters this Christmas. Peter Jackson's "The Two
Towers," the second installment of the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, and Martin Scorsese's "Gangs of New York" are superficially similar because of their mutual interest in battle; but they could not be more different beneath their bloodied surfaces, and the choice between their conflicting visions is one we may all shortly have to make.

Both films have been eagerly anticipated. Neither has disappointed. I do not speak here of their performance at the box office but of their qualities as what one used to call "cinema," which is to say, as art.

Like its precursor, "The Fellowship of the Ring," Jackson's picture is an improvement on its source material, if only because Jackson's film language is subtler, more sophisticated and certainly more contemporary than the stilted, deliberate archaisms of J.R.R. Tolkien's descriptive prose and, even more problematically, of his dialogue. (I am a big fan of the book version of "The Lord of the Rings," but nobody ever read Tolkien for the writing.)

One might say something similar about Scorsese's use of sources. Herbert Asbury's 1928 classic "Gangs of New York" has been transmuted in the film version into a poetic, visionary epic, a "birth of the nation" saga that seeks nothing less, as the New York Times reviewer comes close to suggesting, than to supplant the grand narratives of national origins created by D.W. Griffith and John Ford.

It may seem strange to compare Jackson's fabular Middle Earth wars among men, orcs, dwarfs, hobbits and elves with Scorsese's riots in the all-too-real Five Points district of 19th-century Manhattan, but both filmmakers share an interest in the cut and thrust of hand-to-hand fighting, of close conflict realistically depicted according to the "ancient laws of combat." Movie blood used to be known as "Kensington gore" after the upscale London street, but there's nothing posh or genteel about the gore offered here.

So much for parallels and surface similarities. Where the two films differ radically is in what they have to say about men at arms and about the nature of war.

"The Two Towers" -- how fortunate for all concerned that this title was not ready for release 12 months ago, in the immediate aftermath of the fall of the World Trade Center -- follows Tolkien in creating a universe of moral absolutes. Tolkien didn't like people calling his great work an allegory of the battle against Adolf Hitler, but the echoes of World War II, the last "just war," are everywhere.

The Dark Lord Sauron is the incarnation of evil, and his most potent (and very Wagnerian) weapon, the One or Ruling Ring, is made of and perfects that evil. All who come under Sauron's baleful influence become as thoroughly, homogeneously evil as their lord. The forces of good that stand against him -- and this explains much of Tolkien's appeal -- are, by contrast, extremely various: from Gandalf the wizard (the powerful good guy), Aragorn the Ranger (the heroic good guy), Legolas the elf (the cool good guy), Gimli the grumpy dwarf (the uncool good guy), all the way down to the little people, the hobbits or halflings, who will in the end save the day.

Scorsese's film offers no such extreme moral contrasts. As knife goes up against cleaver, club against skull, nativist against immigrant American, Protestant against Catholic, "good" and "evil" seem almost irrelevant. This is the amoral world of bare-knuckle power, a Darwinian cityscape in which only the fittest will survive. And out of that world, Scorsese reminds us, comes ours. This is a far braver, rarer vision than that of "The Two Towers," brilliant as the fantasy epic is. Gang war is neither holy nor just, Scorsese tells us, and, as one leaves the movie theater with his images dazzling the mind's eye, the thought occurs that maybe all wars are gang wars.

The films have opened at a time when all of us are trying to come to grips with the fact of an impending, controversial war, and many people, on both sides of the argument, are taking the absolutist line. The Bush camp's interest in "evil" and "evildoers" needs no further emphasis. But the Bushies are finding support in some strange quarters. To take just one example, the crazy rage of the writer Oriana Fallaci, directed without discrimination against every Muslim in the world -- "every Muslim, without exception, is a fundamentalist"; "they multiply like protozoa to infinity" -- is one example of what one might call the New Evilism that is busily painting the world in black and white. Oddly, opponents of the proposed American attack on Iraq often look like mirror-images of what they hate. According to these opponents, Western as well as Islamic, the United States is the tyrant, the Dark Lord, and all its purposes are vile.

The truth looks more confused, more amorally Scorsesean. Saddam Hussein is a murderous despot, but the present U.S. administration's assaults on fundamental freedoms call into question its right to be called freedom lovers. The overthrow of the present Iraqi leadership may be desirable, but many of the scenarios for the aftermath of that overthrow are undesirable, to say the least. America may be in less danger from Iraq than its leaders claim, and the war on Hussein may have more to do with breaking U.S. dependence on Saudi oil than anyone cares to discuss. Yet it is possible that this flawed war may end up creating a better Iraq for most Iraqis than could be achieved by any other means. In short, we may be in for a gang war on a gigantic scale, and yet, as in Scorsese's movie, that gang war, brutal, cynical, atavistic -- a war in which one man's hero is another's villain -- may paradoxically succeed in bringing a more modern world into being.

Ambiguity is out of fashion, however. We will be given a war of heroes against villains at all costs. After all, "The Two Towers" is a vast popular success, and "Gangs of New York" is doing no better than modest business. Perhaps when the time for the Oscars comes round, the academy will see fit to reward the more profound complexities of the Scorsese movie. But by March we may all be preoccupied by a greater, darker contest than the one for the Academy Awards.

Salman Rushdie is the author of "Fury" and other novels.
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I'm very restless and about to have a fit, a breakdown, I don't know. Very sleepless too. Things need to be done and I'm procastrinating. I need a new job. They're cutting down my hours and it's not that I don't need the bloody money. I'm so tired of this. Part of me wants to go to PR but that's unnacceptable too. I am going to NYC but I'm not expecting a picnic. So once I get back from work today hopefully calls will be made, laundry will be made, research will be done. Now if I can somehow get some fucking sleep.....
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ah i love it when blogger gets moody with errors. argh!
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More fun with quizzes. Thanks Nikka. You rock!

You are cutting
What Self-Mutilation Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla
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who's your gothic daddy?

brought to you by Quizilla
Of course! What do you expect?????
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Xmas came and went. Not much except that I put out this really cool compilation for my minidisc. Helps me pass the long busride to work. Mostly ambient, idm, techno and some shoegazing guitars. Most wholeshome. Dancing to it right now.

Back to the grind tomorrow.
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Merry Xmas to the Xtians
Kwanzaa to the Africans
Hannukah to the Jews
Saturnalia for the Pagans
and just another day for the rest of us
it really. Xmas lost it's meaning for me a long time ago.
Just another day off.
Looking forward to a fresh start in the New Year.
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Joe Strummer died of a heart attack. I'm kinda devastated because The Clash was one of my favorite bands of all time and their influence is still felt. The Sex Pistols had the impact, The Ramones the sense of humor, The Damned and The Buzzcocks had melody, but The Clash was the only band that mattered. Bands like U2 wouldn't have existed if not for The Clash's mixture of melody, eclectisism and politics. Strummer always rocked whether with The Clash or solo and still remained down to earth and humble. I'm blasting their music even if the world won't listen. Straight to hell, boy. Straight to hell.

Aside from that, just counting down the days. I'm gonna freeze my balls off in that trip but I don't care. I must find out. Go North, young man.
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Watched "The Two Towers" and the only thing I have to contribute to the general consensus about the movie is that Orlando Bloom stole the show on this one. Still, Peter Jackson and the cast did a great job. Celebrated my friend Nuria's birthday watching that with her and her husband. It was cool. Gave her 2 sixpacks for them to drink afterwards. I fell today. Broad daylight. On the street. Scraped my left knee and my right elbow, but otherwise I seem to be doing ok. Heh. Aside from that, not much. And found a nice little joint near the house so I can satisfy my cravings for some tripletas, medianoches and cuban sandwiches. Woo baby!
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You are Silver Surfer!

Take the "Which Marvel Comics Hero are you" quiz!

It figures. I've always liked him. Jack Kirby RIP.
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sunday morning........
and i got to go to work..bleah
it's not like i partied last night
(i wished i did. last night's social function at work was boring)
but the psychic hangover is overwhelming
thank god it's only 5 hours this time.
talked to her last night
she's a bit apprehensive about our thing
but it's cool. that's natural.
i can only hope for the best
can't wait to see her
and see if it works out
cause i still has memories of our first kiss
and the ones afterward
passover in a bar
at a friend's loft
in her car
on her way to the airport
ages ago and they still linger
in a way, yes, this is madness
but i can't have it any other way
it drives you mad
it makes you stupid
just don't make me call it
cause i want it to happen
before i can name it
all i know is that i want her
and i miss her
once again i'm on the road
because i must
because i want her
her beautiful hair, her eyes, her smile.
her mind, her insights, her soul.
yeah it's sunday morning
and it's cold as hell
and i wished i was just lying by her side
feeling her warmth
two less lonely people in this world
let's make it happen

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Before I tell you all about my Friday the 13th, which I will eventually but it's almost 4am and I'm brainded so basically.....

1. Started to read Irvine Welsh's "Porno". The sequel to Trainspotting. So far, so good.
2. Brought the plane tickets to visit my friend and see where that takes us.
3. For the first time enjoyed some PR Xmas party music in a long while. Nevermind the food.
4. Thank God or "Bob" for ze tips and some unexpected bonuses. Much appreciated. Hard work pays off good karma and all that.

Ok enough already. More later.
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How fucked am I? :) Let me count the ways:


-- Click Here To Take The Test --

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Nikka is evil. She has some cool quizzes in her journal. Must take them. :) So........

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla
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Went to check out Nikka's blog and I decided to take this test. See my comments below:

I am the Rake

A woman never quite feels desired and appreciated enough. She wants attention, but a man is too often distracted and unresponsive. The Rake is a great female fantasy-figure - when he desires a woman, brief though that moment may be, he will go to the ends of the earth for her. He may be disloyal, dishonest and amoral, but that only adds to his appeal. Stir a woman's repressed longings by adapting the Rake's mix of danger and pleasure.

Symbol: Fire. The Rake burns with a desire that enflames the woman he is seducing. It is extreme, uncontrollable and dangerous. The Rake may end in hell, but the flames surrounding him often make him seem that much more desirable to women.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society

An apology (of sorts)

So according to this little test, I'm a bit of a rogue. Dishonest? No. I've been acused of being too honest. Honesty's the main quality I look for in a relationship. Disloyal? Hmmm. Funny that you mention that when my last two relationships lasted four and three years respectively. I admit to cheating in the former but the relationship was pretty much dead in the last year and we both cheated on each other. No cheating on the latter though. I stayed loyal to her till the bitter end of it. I learned my lesson well.

It's only one of those net surveys. Make of it what you will.

Meanwhile I got a need to listen to the Slackers' "Redlight". I need to get my Slackers fix.

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ok this one's in spanish because i posted it on another site. sorry i'm not gonna bother for a translation. use babelfish or other handy translation utilities while i find time to translate this to you all. here it goes:

ok estoy aburrido......
una cosa cabrona.....

re-lei trainspotting para ponerme al dia pues pienso regalarme "porno" la secuela de este librito para estas navidades. a la verdad que todavia el sr. welsh hace un buen trabajo para mis neuronas....

pedi una pizza porque en verdad no tengo ganas de salir y ver toda esta obscenidad que los gringos llaman navidad. en esta trampa turistica llamada whorelando, floriduh, los turistas estan por doquier. la economia esta jodia pero los estacionamientos en los centros comerciales estan llenos. just like macondo, usa. por lo menos un regalito que me envio un amigo me mantiene al tanto de las pocas cosas que me interesan de macondo usa, auditivamente hablando. y estoy esperando un regalito del dr. hoffman. una manifestacion auditiva de LA COSA, if you will.

botaron a uno del trabajo. el muy moron bebiendo en el trabajo y el tufo a alcohol se le notaba. not good. el tipo es tremendo bajista (a lo jaco pastorius para los jazzbos por aqui. si alguno existe) y es super chevere, pero el tipo tiene problemas con el alcohol. shit. el tipo perdio a su mama despues de thanksgiving y en vez de los cabrones mandarlo a rehab a un programa de consejeria para que bregue el caso, lo botan. gracias.

mientras tanto una amiga que trabaja ahi por poco manda al carajo a par de gente. que cojones. la amiga trabajando la nomina y envuelta en eso y una puta trajeada la llama para pedirle un fucking cafe. ella lloro de rabia por la afrenta. gracias a dios que no le cayo a gaznata's porque esa puertorra mi pana es fuelte. pero nada. le dijo el "NO" mas poderoso que una femina puede tirarle a otra de su especie. girltalk and girlcodes rule.

mientras tanto, sobran alimentos y bebida de las funciones y a veces nos autorizan para llevarnos el botin a casa. salmon, pavo, roast beef, una botella de champagne, una de vino tinto y 2 cajas de cerveza. esas dos mueren manyana en el party de un pana. o en el post-party. plop. mientras tanto me doy una friita en lo que escribo esto. la dictonomia del trabajo. la paga no es nada del otro jueves pero en esta epoca como gratis, hay cosas 'interesantes' pasando y hay dias que llego al apartamento alegre y contento. pero el prospecto de trabajar con varios seres con complejo de napoleon esta cabron. i love to hate you, baby. really.

no se si asistir a la fiesta de navidad de la empresa. como dije me gusta la gente con quien trabajo y hay par fuera de la division que son supercool. pero no se si tenga la capacidad para aguantar la comemierderia y pretensiones de cierta gente fuera de horas laborales. mi companyera de cuarto trabaja conmigo alla asi que lo mas seguro dare cara.

nueva yol me llama. "vente para babilonia" - me imagino que ella me susurra al oido. la conozco hace 4 anyos. ironicamente un poco despues que conoci a la que eventualmente seria mi mas reciente ex. super cool. inteligente, bonita, sensible, como anillo al dedo. la musa que necesito para poder sacar a flote el lado literario. el musical esta bien, gracias. ella quiere que vaya de visita. el viernes compro los pasajes, si 'bob' quiere.

babilonia me llama. especialmente esa residente en particular. la soledad a veces duele y el hombre del siglo 21 todavia esta solo. al menos en mi caso. 90% del tiempo prefiero la soledad a la mala companyia, pero uno encuentra seres que uno no puede dejar pasar desapercibidos. a ver que sucede y que nos trae el 2003.

y por ahora basta

popu 12/11/02 21:36
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I was gonna post a rant about my love-hate relationship with my job. Basically I love the people I work with but sometimes hate some of the people who gives us the work orders, but you know what? fuck that! Probably next time. Now time to take some useless mind numbing tests for you to peruse so here we go!

I am 31% Geek

You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing.

Take the Geek Test at fuali.com

I am 75% Punk Rock

I am PUNK AS FUCK! The model punk. I care not for anything. I kick ass, but probably smell really bad.

Take the Punk Rock Test at fuali.com

I am 56% Goth

Oh My Goth! You Goth, Girl. There is a good chance I am bi. Freakiness pumps through my viens, but I can still laugh at myself.

Take the Goth Test at fuali.com

I am 52% Internet Addict

I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I'm just well connected to the internet and technology, but it's really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer!

Take the Internet Addict Test at fuali.com

I am 40% Metal Head

Most other metal-heads acknowledge my presence, but they laugh at me behind my back. Maybe I need to stop spending all that money on haircuts and invest in a few Pantera T-shirts.

Take the Metal Head Test at fuali.com

I am 36% Raver

Well, I may have been to a rave. I probably know a bunch of ravers, but they may think of me as an outsider. That's okay, at least I am not a complete freak.

Take the Raver Test at fuali.com

I am 67% Evil Genius

Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com

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someone came back to the picture. it's a welcome surprise and i'm sorting out the details to see what's gonna happen to us. i'm hopeful that things will get sorted out. lord knows this could be the first time. :)
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If you must a free subscription to FAQ YOU allows me to be in your mailbox and spare you the grief and torture of visiting the site daily. :rolleyes: So if you must, go ahead, make may day and use the handy form on your left. Thanks.
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Some eye candy for you. My current desktop. Click on the picture if you want to see it on it's full glory. Heh. (Insert rant here about loving Mac's OS but wished the fuckers would produce a really affordable computer for the rest of us.) Enjoy!

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"I feel so extraordinary
something's got a hold on me"
- new order "true faith"

It's a strange weekend. A friend's mother passed away and I'm trying to be as supportive as I can within those circumstances. I was about to go out and have fun when this happened so I stayed and was available for him in case he needed me. Running out of cash, need cash for the rent so I called my mum to see if she would send the money order I refused earlier in the week. She did but supposedly these mofo's of the famous job they supposedly offered but didnt are going to call. I got so mad and started arguing with her. Then a strange thing happened.

I have a friend in NYC. Really cool girl. Writer, journalist, intelligent, sensitive really cool. We met a few months after I met Lana. She and I have kept in touch through the years and it's always good to see her. Well I ran into her online and we had one of our really deep chats. Damn. I want to work like a madman so I can go to see her. She's that good. Looking forward to that. A good motivation to go on.

That and now that I got DSL I've been downloading stuff like a madman. I really missed it. Also will change the pc's layout soon.

Ok I should get some rest no?

Last but not least. Thanks to window blinds my pc has a mac-like interface. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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FUCK. New place, DSL (woot woot) and finally got the new O.P.A.L. album out. You can buy it here if you want to. Pretty please? ;)

My right toe hurts. I fell down the stairs at the old house, but I'm ok. Nothing seriously broken but hurts.Life hurts anyway.

Ok gotta get outta here. Later.
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Well Thanksgiving come and gone and I'm moving to a bigger, better, friendlier place. Not much to say but I'm procastrinating so badly but hell I normally work a lot so bear with me. Also a very long weekend coming up so there you have it. Not much to say, I'm afraid. I'm just ok. I'm just waiting.......
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Ok here's a little download to give your PC an OS-X kinda flavor. Best of all it's free. Works only in Windows 2k and XP though. Sorry.

I was talking to one of my roommates about drugs and their effect on people and found out that apparently crack is back. As in people are using it more. I mean, shit, crack is such a Republican drug. Fucking economy going down the toilet and people need to get high for cheap so I guess history does repeat itself.

Speaking about roommates, the other roommate came over and basically started to ask me for money. No way, I told him. Get a fucking job. Getting money from Mommy and Daddy and sleeping all the time won't work for you, buddy. Fuck you and get a job you lazy ass motherfucker.

Ok enough of rants. I better get some sleep.
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o.p.a.l.'s debut album can be listened on it's entirety here. enjoy!
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Ok so after all this shit going down I headed downtown for Alpha Bar's industrial/goth night called DAS MACHINE. Not much people but the music was good, I downed some cold ones along with Stormbringer8, and I met a nice lovely goth gal named Sara. All in all good fun. So there.
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i love my little brother so much. he's the only one who can cheer me up from this drudgery. i'm so proud of him and he rawks. i love you man!
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hi. i am so bummed out today. my mother doesn't understand the fact that i don't want anything to do with her. i know i'm terrible, but that's how badly i feel about her. i want her out of my life. i want to be actually disowned. my little brother and my foster grandma are all that matters. i can do without the rest. i was suposed to upload some stuff but i guess i'll have to wait to ask mista r or get a cable modem. heh. alright. the O.P.A.L. album is done, so I just need to upload the material. ta!
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so another meetup has come to pass and it was really good. good enough to forget about momentarily the fact i want to be disowned by my family (except my little brother. can't help but love him and he's done much for me). i know what my mother said was too good to be true, but i took a chance and it blew on my face. fuck it. i ain't coming back home. at least not for a long while. every major dissappointment in my life she has had something to do with. i can't stand her anymore. i'm sorry and i know i'm terrible but i don't want to know from them. not for a long while. let them have their christmas and their own dramas. i have enough things to take care of. bought a cheap minidisc today and started recording some stuff for the rides to work and also will start to work on field recordings. keeping myself busy, as always.

guess what? tomorrow i'll hit downtown and the clubs. get drunk. act silly. i need to get over all of this crap.

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And now a message from our sponsors courtesy of the usual gang of idiots at Mad Magazine:

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this one's been in the backburner for ages and i think it needs to be aired out.

i'm sad to see you go
but i'm not sorry that you leave me
it's something you decided
and i ain't the one to stop you
i never wanted the pedestals
i'm never good handling praise
i'm just like you just the same
i'm not your idol i'm don't want worship
but it's your call, so goodbye it is.
don't put me in pedestals
i'm made of clay you know?
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ok things are much calmer.
b is sorting her stuff out. good. props and lots of love.
too much work. not even time to shave.
meanwhile, announcing: o.p.a.l.. because......
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people coming in and out of my life
stress induced headaches
lots of work (that's usual)
themes appearing and dissappearing out of a forum i regularly visit
trying to find out what happened to a new found acquaintance. no response.
registring to post a question in her forum and i'm not allowed to enter
i wonder what's going on and whether i'm going crazy
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this is the part of the movie when i wake up, shower, get dressed, ready for work, don't even bother to look at the face in the mirror, brush teeth, get up go.

this is the part of the movie when i spend the last of my money on breakfast and a paper. read the paper, killing an hour. get up. go to the bus stop.

this is the part of the movie when i get on the bus, run the buspass and sit down, then this headache settles down on me hard. like a rhino sitting on top of my head, all heavy. all i want to do is scream. scream like a madman but i can't.

this is the part of the movie when i get off at the bus station, throw the paper in the thrash, and make a mad dash to the public library. business that are usually open at this hour are closed. I sometimes wonder if I'm in a dream and the rhino on top of my head keeps bugging me. I wish I could just get rid of it. I get in the library, get some Excedrin from the pain, my eyes still hurting. As soon as I swallow I guess my body kicks into psychosomatic mode, the pain subsides, but my eyes still hurt. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I sometimes feel like my whole world's collapsing around me. I don't know. At least the pain is away. For now.

This is the part of the movie where I still wish I could scream. A loud piercing scream that would be heard accross the world. Still, I have no mouth and I need to scream. That's how it feels like.

B. take care precious.
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If you could be here
just for a moment
long enough to tell you
how much
how badly
long enough to
feel you
taste you
so you can see me
for what i really am
and what i really feel
then you would understand
what goes on
and why


dark cheerful sleepless beauty
how i wish i could make you feel better
and chase your ghosts away
so we all can see you shining through
please forgive my intrusion
but i needed to get these words out
and let you know
i'm at your service, beck and call.

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So I'm starting to feel better but I'm afraid since I'm coming back tomorrow to work, I might relapse, so I guess I have to bundle up. Meanwhile I finished Bruce Sterling's "Holy Fire". Wow. Shit. This book begs to be a good movie. Maybe directed by Wim Wenders, Jeunet, I don't know. Someone who can actually put this book into a film. A really good read. Inspiring. Thanks b. for all the support. I wanted to go online last night but I was devouring this book and then I finally got some sleep. Then my roommate woke me up with something about the fridge. :P

Anyway, I might go out today to return the books to the library (I don't plan on staying there with this cold). Keep it up with the healing process, then hopefully I should be alright. Fingers crossed.
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Yucky. Tired. Sweating. Labored breathing. I only went out for food and vaporub. l really hate this. I think this is the worst part of being alone in here. Not having someone who looks after you. Oh well. Shit happens, no? I think I'm gonna take some more medicine and pass out to sweet oblivion, thank you. Later.
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I am sick with the bloody flu. Nose running like a broken dike on Ansterdam, medication sometimes working, had to take a shower because I was basically swimming in my own sweat (as in a fever). Couldn't be more miserable, right?
Then along comes my brother and the lovely person described below. Thanks guys. You cheered me up and lifted up my spirits. Dave's comments too. Make me feel really appreciated and all warm and gooey inside. LOL. Now if I could only get rid of this damn cold.........

Still giddy from driving that golf cart. Yeah I want one for Christmas goddamnit! So there.

Oh and I'll probably get a full-time at the museum. Not much, but hey it's a job. And I happen to like it.
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Ok so early this morning I finally met a really cool and beautiful goth geek who rants in binary code. you know who you are. yes, you are quite a hottie and you make me laugh a lot and get me nervous enought to forget my french. yes, you. thanks. :)

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh. (geekiness taking over) I love riding on golf carts. Yes, you heard me golf carts. The annoying little things. I love driving them around. We were taking care of some stuff at work and we needed to get rid of a lot of packaging, boxes, ad nauseaum. Here comes the golf cart squad. We were speeding accross the park and the parking lot in the little things and I just rediscovered the joys of driving. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee! Can I get one for X-mas? Can I?

Film at 11.
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Sorry if I haven't posted in a while. Been busy at work like you wouldn't believe. Got First Thursdays done, had Friday off and went to Universal Studios Cineplex to watch "The Transporter" good mindless action flick produced by Luc Besson (La Femme Nikita, The Professional). I'm telling you the French are teaming with Oriental directors and making kick-ass action films that are better than most American productions of late.

Basically these past three days we've been helping with setting up the Festival of Trees which starts later these weeks. The museum becomes a winter wonderland of sorts. I've been doing some hard labor and discovering muscles I thought I never had (LOL). Seriously. This work is good though. Keeps me busy and tired enough. Keeps the blues at hand.

Added some more links and I'm pleasantly surprised to discover that someone out there takes time and effort to read all of this. Thanks you made my day. Hello and welcome.

So it seems we'll be given carte blanche to carpet bomb Iraq soon. So more people will die for oil the minute Iraq doesn't let the inspectors come in. Hmmm. You won't see me rooting for Saddam here but if Dubya wants to topple a government and get it's oil reserves why doesn't he try something closer at home? Like Venezuela for instance. I mean, Hugo Chavez ain't a saint, he's friendly with Cuba and he's got a nice little uprising there. Nevermind that the CIA tried to oust him bad and he got back in power. I don't make foreign policy for Dubya but hey it could be an option. Sarcasm was used in much of the last paragraph, thank you very much.

Well that's enough of me for now. I better get some more sleep. Yes, I'll be working on Veteran's Day, but I got Tuesday and Wendesday off. Wheee! or not..... ;)

PD - Dave. Thanks for showing some love. Man, you are a great friend indeed. Keep it up.
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Ok so today it's First Thursdays (sort of like Noches de Galeria back home) so I'll be busy at my job. Watched Red Dragon last night. What a treat. The chill is starting to come down so it's happy time to go to the mall and look for some bargains. Bargains are good. Aside from that thinking about remastering and reissuing some stuff from the Rojo y Negro catalog. That will keep me busy. Later.
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I'm stepping out of the bunker tonight. Going to the movies. Haven't done that in a while and I need my movie fix badly so there. Meanwhile it's all so quiet and no work until tomorrow.

Got my bloody library card! Hurray! Finished "Distraction". Sterling is a writer whom you have to read with carefully. Lots of plots, subplots and details. Funny as hell. Starting "Holy Fire" today. Still searching for another part-time job. Ta!
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Ladies and Gentlemen: It's official. The big Republican take over is in effect. Better learn the Lord's Prayer, get your flags, and prepare for the Republican onslaught. It's not gonna be fun. Especially for those of us who don't follow King Dubya's precepts. The Madness of King George indeed. Welcome to the terrordome.
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I went to vote today. What a feeling! :rolleyes: It's not that we don't do that in PR right? Anyway I was listening to talk radio (the true barometer of how crazy people are) and there are reports (also published in the Drudge Report) that voting machines are fixed. As in you vote for McBride (Democrat) and guess who comes out in your ballot? Jeb! YEAH BABY! Once again FloriDUH representing. I'm telling you, it's the goddamn world that it's going out of whack. It's not me. Not this time.
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As of today I have given up on the human race. I tried, I gave up. Take your lives and shove them. Deep. I odn't care anymore. Will concentrate on my music and my sorry excuse for a life. 99% of humanity isn't worth the time nor the trouble. Fuck you. The rest of you, I still love you and I need you to show some love. Badly. End of Rant.

On a side note: I' m creating lots and lots and lots of music. So anger is an energy indeed.

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Finished reading "Havana" so I'm up to date in my Arkady Renko fix. Gonna read two Bruce Sterling novels and hopefully by Monday I should go back to the library to obtain more books. Need to stop by Nuria and Rafy's to pick my library card and also need to go to Stallone's. Man just thinking about that gets me hungry. Sleepless and today's gonna be real busy. Joy. ;)
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It's a sad world we live
when P. Diddy is still around
(and now he wants to make dance music)
and Jam Master Jay is gone.
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Jam Master Jay is dead and this world still brings me down with it's senseless violence. Nasty brutish and short indeed. Just to ruin Halloween. No more Christmas in Hollis, Queens. No more My Adidas. It's Not Tricky this time. Shit. *sighs* The good die young and we have to deal with the mediocrity left behind.
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this made my day yesterday.

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Met my friendly neighborhood drug dealer today. No I didn't cop anything or bought anything from him. Fella introduced himself. Yeah I know. Right next door to the rehab center. I just nodded and was on my way. I already brought my drugs of choice: Cheetos and Mystic Tropical Haze drink from the corner shop. So I can obtain my drugs, food, bus and go to rehab in a block radius.

Been reading. Lots. Finished "Red Square" and now going thru "Havana". I fell in love with Martin Cruz-Smith's novels after watching "Gorky Park" starring William Hurt ages ago. Read that and "Polar Star" a few years later. Arkady Renko is one of my favorite detectives. Along with Alex Cross, Rick Deckard and Easy Rawlins. Also borrowed two Bruce Sterling novels from the Public Library. Yeah better take advantage of it.

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Things that make you laugh. A lot.

1. Profile of a blogger. Let's face it: it's all gone mainstream. It's even in the local paper. The blog phenomenon. Man don't we have enough scandals and shit going on? The trendies can move on to the next fucking trend, leaving the rest of us to finally be able to use this. ;)

2. Now you can reach out and touch someone. Really. I love the technology curve.

3. Last but not least: This is my nomination for Moron Of The Year. Your prize will be sent shortly. Just read.

Job-Seeking Burglar Leaves Resume at Crime Scene

Oct 30, 11:02 am ET

ZURICH (Reuters) - Famous criminals have been known to leave calling cards, but one burglar in Switzerland went a step further, accidentally leaving his curriculum vitae behind after a break-in.
"His name and address were written on it and so we paid him a little visit," a spokesman for the canton of Basel police force said. "I assume he realized at some point that he had lost something and so I don't suppose he was very surprised."

The 19-year-old Hungarian was arrested on suspicion of burglary in Oberwil, near the French border, and stealing some 10,000 Swiss francs ($6,720) worth of camera equipment. A 21-year-old Swiss accomplice is also being questioned.

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I'd always thought that if I was one of the Endless, I'd be Destiny, maybe Delirium for my craziness, or perhaps Death or Destruction given their unique sense of humor about things. Good old Cheo thought otherwise. So if you know your Sandman, you should know who the picture below belongs to:

Maybe Cheo's right. I've been caught up in all this shit. Mind you, I'm working towards a solution. It's coming. Slowly. I just wish it came a bit faster.

Thanks man. So noted.
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Fear of a crazy planet.

Ok no luck in love. Hustling hours to pay the bills. Yes, it's hard, never said it would be a walk in the park. Sometimes I want to give up and return, but that is suicide. Most of the time I'm afraid I'll end up just another crazy in the street talking to myself. Heh. Sometimes you just want to escape reality, but I'd rather deal with it head on. Like they say at home: brega con eso. Superalo.

Get over it.
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10 mins before this station shuts down and 2 quick notes:

The sniper (or who the government thinks is the sniper) is captured. Of course now they want to make a case against him because he's a Muslim. But who taught this fool to shoot and to kill? Yes, Uncle Sam did. So there.

I forgot what the other 'deep thought' was. Damnit!!!!!!!!!!! Aaargh! Well I have an alternative place to logon. The Orlando Public Library. Books, cd's, dvd's, internet. What else can I want out of this city?

Aside from that, not much. Signed up to Netzero to cover my 'net fix at home. Cheap is always good. Woohoo.

So I'm off to re-devour Gibson's Virtual Light and get acquainted with Martin Cruz Smith's "Red Square". Read James Patterson's "Pop Goes The Weasel" this weekend. Great book. Alex Cross rawks. I want to read some Walter Moseley. Have an Easy Rawlins jones coming on. Strong.

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Fear and Loathing in FloriDUH!

Well I needed to get the fuck away from here. Needed some fresh air and I got an invitation to meet someone and spend the weekend in Tampa. So I took the Greyhound bus on Sat. evening hoping to get there, go to the Castle, dance my ass off and have a good time. On the terminal you see how things change after 9/11/01 and after some crazy Croat tried to slash a Greyhound bus driver's throat in Knoxville a few days after. There is an armed security guard at the terminal and he scans you and checks your luggage before going to the waiting area. Well the fucking bus driver took his time leaving the terminal so I was 20 mins. late, but I called my host and it was cool. On the way there, we make a stop in Lakeland. Cops come over with a fucking drug sniffing dog. So I guess I'm thankful I don't do drugs and don't bring any with me. My stomach was upset from the ride and I was a bit late. That was just the beginning.

I arrived and sure enough my gracious host was there. Cool. Hug. Get the stuff in the car. Go. Then the fun started. We figured out a way to get off the city. Meanwhile she goes into a bit of hysterics. We couldn't go to Ybor City to the Castle because it was Guavaween and prices went through the roof just for parking a bloody car. Still we saw the spectacle on the streets. My host was a sea of facial ticks and hysterics when we didn't made it to the road. I was thinking of ways and means to bail out, go to the station and take a bus home but I decided against it. Why? In a sick way this was entertainment. Something to tell. Not a dull moment.

Anyway after dinner we headed to her place. She has an amazing record collection. 80s stuff, synthpop, goth, industrial, etc. She leads a simple life and that's the way she wants it. No complications, no college. I respect that but no college? Oh well, to each his/her own. We listened to a lot of music and she burned off 3 cds worth of material from mine. We got drunk on rum. It was cool. Went to bed around 3 am.

Next day, we wake up. More cd burning. More music. Breakfast. Then we start talking. It's alright. At 4 pm we head for a meal and she drives me to the terminal. We watch the clock. It's 5pm when we reach the city. My bus leaves at 5. She becomes hysteric. I say
chill. if it's the same bus driver we are in luck. In a way we are in two ways: First the clocks turn back 1 hour today. So it's actually 4. There is a bus there to Orlando. The thing was that this Mexican passenger went into hysterics. Bus driver tries to reason with him. Passenger still upset. Bus driver pulls on the road and calls the cops. Cops come over to remove hysteric dude. Then the dumbass pulls a knife on them. Very bad idea. Florida state cops carry guns. Big fucking guns. And are not afraid to waste them on a dumbass who pulls a knife on them. Luckily no shots were fired. Guy was arrested and ergo, I get to leave Tampa/St. Pete an hour earlier. Woo hoo.

I come home. Tired. Working out the kinks and nervousness and getting ready to deal with my daily drudgery. I work on the Orlando Museum now, btw. It's nice. I have to deal with assholes but fortunately these assholes I can deal with.

My date thing has reinforced an opinion. As much as I love to be with someone, I still have to be picky and have my filters on. Yes I miss my ex and now she's gone. I'm not looking for a replacement or for a clone, but someone who made me feel as special as she did. That is all.

Ok back to the daily drudgery you fucks.

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Testing a new doohickeythingamajig. It's down and to the left
down and to the left
down and to the left
down and to the left
(and so on. if you get where this phrase is from, you get a prize.)

Working on new songs. They are more on the Hijos de Cain vein but hey.
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the unreality of my surroundings

i moved to a house downtown. real nice. quiet. no problem with my two roommates. one is paranoid and is not using his meds, the other one is gay (he's the owner of the house). but hey that's cool. we get along real fine. no problems with that.

the house is in front of: a liquor store, and a rehab place. god has a sense of humor. there are a few bums about, but they are harmless. a public housing project is a block down the road. no problems there either.

why am i writing about this? just observations that's all.

i'm fed up with my job and i think change is in the way. because.

met some cool people online and hopefully will see them by halloween.

aside from that i *need* a phone line. hooked up with NetZero for their ISP service. It's cheap and cheap is good.

back to the grind
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AOHell 8.0 - How Do I Hate Thee? Let me count the ways.......

Ok so here I am using AOHell while trying to sort out a high speed alternative for all of us here in the house. Being the lovely nethead that I am, I notice there's a new version. 8.0. Took me all night to download it. Next morning lo and behold slick interface and some new features. cool. Finally you can customize your browser blah blah blah. Nice little thing while we sort this out right.

It worked fine for 2 days.

For the past 2 days I haven't been able to connect and due to time constraints. So I ended up rolling back to 7.0. Fuck them and their stupid asses. I should've known better but it's free for 45 days right?

That and a stomach ache and I think I won't be able to see the Pink Dots. I was sick as a dog this morning and I don't think things would improve if I went out.

Ces't La Vie

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Well I used all that restlessness to good avail. Wrote a song. The music sounds like a cross between th' faith healers, laika and some damaged psych noise. If I can go to Rafi's house, I might record the vocals and upload it for your pleasure. The lyrics are below. Be gentle ok? Now I gotta get to work.

antartica - not meant to happen
lyrics and music jose e. roman
copyright (c) 2002 jose e. roman

the way we met
not meant to happen
your lovely smile
not meant to happen
i held your hand
not meant to happen
your eyes on mine
not meant to happen
your kiss that bliss
not meant to happen
a love like this
not meant to happen

not meant to happen (x4)

love came so fast
not meant to happen
our place at last
not meant to happen
we had a blast
not meant to happen
it wouldn't last
not meant to happen
and now you're gone
not meant to happen
this stupid song
not meant to happen

not meant to happen (x4)

it all came down
not meant to happen
we let it go
not meant to happen
no need to blame
not meant to happen
it's all the same
not meant to happen

not meant to happen....

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third time's the charm.

i've open up the windows in my room to listen to the traffic, the music, the people outside. all the noises that sorround this neighborhood and remind me that i'm not alone. not that the noises invite me to join them outside but sometime to distract me and remind me that there's a world out there. i can either choose to be in it or stay in here. there is a world outside. right now i don't feel like taking part of it. unless it's a really good invitation. ;)
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Where are you?
Where's that smile that melts me?
Where are those eyes that see straight into my soul?
Where are those addictive kisses?
Where's that warmth that I miss?
Where's the feling of touching your skin?
Where's that playful tongue?
Where's that feeling of completeness, security, tranquility, peace?
Where did it go?
I've been here all day
Thinking, pondering wondering
where you are?
Are you really out there?
Or is it all gone?
If it is, what am I doing here?
I am tembling as I write this.
Where are you?
and where does that leave me?
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Met some local Goths today at a Krispy Kreme downtown. Had a really good time. "Good times for a change". Heh. It's a process, but it's not like I haven't been here before. Dealing with the city, the sights, the sounds and a good conversation. All in all a good day. Oh and a beautiful smile to boot. So there you have it. Starting to write some new pieces. Don't know which direction they'll take but they usually sort themselves out, which reminds me I better work on those translations if I really want to get back in the ballgame.

By the way, I hate AOHell, but it will have to do for the moment. I miss broadband. Meanwhile looking forward to Saturday's show.

I haven't been able to write you about recent developments or news but I'll say this: the Beltway is slowly turning into downtown Sarajevo. I hope they catch him. A local paper is trying to figure out if the shooter is the same one responsible from some shootings in Gainesville some years ago. Scary.
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Finally moved in. It's quiet. Just the way I like it. Some interesting twists and turns but nothing I can't handle. Two days off and I'll go job hunting. Looking for something better than the usual. Upwardly moving.
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Ok since it's monday, I havent slept and I'm in a pretty shitty mood, here it comes: GO!
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It's one of those days where everything was just about wrong but I managed or instead of complaining I did something about it. It's late and i gotta work tomorrow so there.
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Hi. Still at my friend's place. Moving tomorrow. Bored as hell. Not much to say. Sorry.
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Finally. Got my own place. A room in a reconstructed house downtown. My own room upstairs. Big. Finally, my own place. It's cool. Meanwhile, if you want to hear the new album click here. Have fun!

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We interrupt Popu's Melancholy Hour for an important announcement:

antartica - continuum. out now.
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Read Zamyatyn's "We". Good book. Orwell read this and it was his inspiration for 1984. Someone should make this into a movie. My choice of directors? Aronofsky, Fincher or Terry Gilliam might pull this one off. One can only be so hopeful. I'm tired and I need sleep. I don't even want to deal with tomorrow. Not right now. Happy birthday, by the way. As if you read this anyway. :). This one's for you.

Classic Girl by Jane's Addiction

4:05; in my neighborhood, when shots go off, no one bothers.
A 'POP,' and a reply 'POP,' and no reply...
Dinosaurs on the quilt I wore with a girl.
Such a classic girl...
Such a classic girl...
Such a classic girl, gives her man great ideas.
Hears you tell your friends,
'Hey man, listen to my great idea!'
It's true I am a villain when you fall ill,
that's probably because men never can be.
Not like a girl.
A classic girl...
Such a classic girl...
They may say, 'Those were the days...,'
but in a way, you know for us these are the days.
Yes, for us these are the days, and you know you're my girl!
Such a classic girl...
Such a classic girl...
Yeah for us these are the days...
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Work is alright. Goes fast. Some stress due to the learning curve but it's nothing I can't handle. Thank god it goes fast so I can take care of things.

Certain birthdays are coming up and I'm a bit blue. Sent postcards to the concerned parties. Just to let them know. Just to let them show that I still care. I expect no replies from them. Still.....

Anyway here is one of my favorite songs from the Wolfgang Press' excellent Birdwood Cage album.

RAINTIME (Allen/Cox/Gray)
Published by Beggars Banquet Music Ltd and Momentum Music Ltd.
(P) & (C) 1988 4AD

Disturbing the old times, the gift of science
Lots of back washing and sticks of paper
Sticks of paper lighting the way
If you find you don't know where your going
It's in the bush, it's in the trees
I'm gonna run round there twice
It's too quick, it's too late
It's much too quick and it's far too late

I'm rolling away
And I'm rolling away, and I'm rolling away for the last time
And I'm hauling away, and I'm hauling away
Too many things left unsaid
And I'm rolling away, and I'm rolling away
Somebody here is talking
And I'm hauling away, and I'm hauling away,
Somebody here is sober

Somebody here is older
Macbeth times 2
A lazy suit and bloody hands
Come taste your faith in every street
The sound of money just kissed me in the face
My trousers aren't the right size
I go straight to pocket
Take one step up and back to business
My mind is closed so my body speaks
My mind is clothed, my body squeaks

And I'm rolling away, and I'm rolling away
And I'm facing my only true smile
And I'm hauling away, and I'm hauling away
Somebody there is calling
So I'm rolling away, I'm rolling away
A sound of time is talking
And I'm hauling away, and I'm hauling away
This party here is too loud

Nobody knows what clothes they're wearing
Nobody knows which road is the white one
So here we go holding up the motion
You raise your hopes, you raise your chin
You raise your glass with nothing in it

It's a momentary lapse, a common habit
Support your faith with this party face, and party pieces,
And with their party faces, and party people
With their powdered faces

Just rolling away, just rolling away, just rolling away,
Just rolling...
Raintime, raintime, raintime...

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I want to be with you
because I want to
not because of a paper
nor a ring
nor the ties
nor what everyone else thinks
expects or wants

I want to be with you
because there's no one
I'd rather be with
not because I'm afraid
of being alone

I want to be with you
because you complete me
because you bring me joy
love, friendship and more

I want to be with you
because I love you

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Will I Dream? - The Sisters Of Mercy

something will happen here
I can feel it
on the howling edge of pink and white and blue
something, right here
I can feel it
and now it's just too real to
still believe in you

and will I ...dream?
when it's over will I dream?

when it's over will I?
when it's happened will I?
when it's over will I dream?

something is happening here
I can feel it
on the howling edge of pink and white and baby -
will I ...dream?
when it's over will I dream?

when it's over will I?
when it's happened will I?
when it's over will I dream?

something has happened here
I can feel it
on the howling edge of pink and white and steely blue
something, right here
I can feel it
and now it's just too real
to will belief in you

and will I ...dream?
when it's over will I dream?

when it's over will I?
when it's happened will I?
when it's over will I dream?

© 1997. Words by Andrew Eldritch, Music by Adam Pearson and Mike Varjak.
Lyrics reproduced by kind permission of EMI Music Publishing Ltd. All rights reserved.
Not yet released on record.
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This one reflects my state of mind on Mondays but I dont know, just in case you had a bad day or you feel like saying something special to the rest of the world. Here it is:

Ah! I feel so much better now! Don't you?
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People ask me why don't I apply for a regular job at a publication instead of being a freelancer. Well, I don't want this to happen to me, like it happened to a friend of mine. If you thought the Macarena was bad.... Ayayay.....

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Ok back to the grind. Training, tests, yadda yadda. I'm still testing this state of being. Mind you, I don't mind living on my own again, but I'm still on the transitional period and I don't want to upset my hosts. I need my own space and I'm working on it. Don't mind renting a room somewhere. I might consider going back to Nashville or at least somewhere where I know I can make more money. Still, concentrating on the moment at hand.

I miss talking to you. At least that bring a smile to my face the fact that we acknowledge each other's presence with a quick message. It's cool. We are busy. We got lives outside the 'net. That keeps me going.

Note to self = How to avoid a guilt trip = do NOT buy the ticket. So what's done is done. Move on. Move forward. The best is yet to come.
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A sort of return

My first day of training. Woop tee doo! Got there way too early, fighting to keep myself awake, and I didn't get in time to the post office to get my mail. Wheeeee! Whatta day! I'm glad I'm back at work though. Feel more productive that way. Or something.


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It's been good these few days. Job. And another job for my days off. Cool conversations with a really cool lady. Also a good evening of intelligent and very conversation with Daryl. Things are starting to get better. Also Daryl got me laughing my ass off at Strong Bad's emails. Check that shit out. I think I haven't laughed this hard since watching TV Funhouse or the Butters South Park episode. Yes, I'm laughing and very happy. For now. ;) Coolest thing is that you can email Strong Bad with your own questions.

With Crap,

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I got a job. Starting on Monday. Heheh. Wheee. Ok back to bed now.
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Sometimes you lose sight of the things in front of you. Then you realize their value when you put some distance between them. This happened to me with this girl I spoke with at a gig back in PR. We met, she took pictures, talked a bit. Months later I discover how talented and wonderful she is. How much I'd like to be at her side. Well at least we got the 'net. That's something.

In other news, I might have a job tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
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And now for something completely different courtesy of my man David J:

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I had a good time last night but today I don't want to deal with the real world. It's just I wished I had someone with me right now. Watched 'Ghost World' finally. That didn't improve my mood but hey. I just wished I had someone by my side. Someone to hold, cuddle, kiss and that I could get along with. Alright. Rant's over.
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Had a blast at the Independent Bar downtown. 80's music and some industrial downstairs. Definetely the place to be on Saturdays. No charge before 11 pm bwahahahaahah

oh and this one's reposted because I can:

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ready for the weekend? i know i am
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Looking for a job is a full-time job by itself. Heh. Lots of resumes sent, interviews, the whole nine yards. Can't wait to start working and having my own place. You have no idea. Night.
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Once again, Daryl coming through with some good stuff. His blog pointed me to the plight of Katie Sierra a high school student who's being persecuted for speaking against the war in Afghanistan and starting an Anarchist's club at school. Censorship anyone? Thanks D!!
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get up
brush teeth
check emails

downloading some cool music too.

missing some people. terribly.

but i won't let that stop me
from doing what i must do
because i must

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memories betray me
find myself wanting
to kiss your hair
to kiss your lips
touch you
taste you
feel you
your earthquake
your passion
your smile
your warmth
i know it's over
gone and done with
i'll never see you again
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Finally got to watch Pinero and Changing Lanes. Liked both movies. I also went to check out Valencia Community College to pursue some job opportunities. Aside from that and feeling a bit lonelier than usual, everything's ok. Not much to say so I'll keep it short and sweet...
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i'm not ready for a relationship right now but i'll take any good cuddles, hugs, kisses, etc I can get. Always craving for that. Heh.
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I'm tired and I should be sleeping but what the fuck, right? I'm working towards reaching my goal and that keeps me busy. Fielding several offers to see what happens. Miss my friends and going out but this I must do in order to regain my independence, my own place, stake my own claim in the world. Good night.
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Hello Floriduh! Noelle Bush (yes Jeb Bush's daughter, one of 'the little brown ones' according to George Sr.) was found with coke on the rehab center she was in for a previous drug felony. Wooooohoooooo. Meanwhile three guys in I-75 were arrested because of suspected terrorist activity. Nothing certain yet, but a citizen's tip led to the arrest. Post 9/11 paranoia or is it for real? You decide.

Ok boys and girls, I got a Floriduh license. Unlike Tennessee's it was not quick and painless. Went to the DMV and I felt just like the DMV at home except the attendants were nicer because I'm a nice guy. I had all the necessary paperwork so it went fast but the visitors to the DMV looked like they came from Mars. This reinforces the theory that Whorelando is just another part of PR.

Please support the spread the dot initiative. It's a good cause for the net.

Oh and I got a phone. Good and solid job prospects. That is good. :)
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File this one under There's A Sucker Born Every Minute: David Bowie's releasing another Greatest Hits collection. This one has a catch.

Another that will be missed when he's gone: Warren Zevon was diagnosed with terminal cancer. All the good ones are going leaving us with the mediocre ones. Oh well.

Solo album and show for Portishead's singer. I hear a track she made with 'O'Rang years ago and it was excellent. I expect some good stuff to be released.

This is all for now. Have a great weekend.

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Ok weirdness galore. I'm posting from a friend's computer and somehow it wasn't taking the updates. Blogbuddy to the rescue. I love this utility and have it on the laptop. Now I'm able to post. Got several good leads for jobs here, so I am happy. Eager to work and find a place of my own. My hosts are gracious but I don't want to overstay my welcome. Rainy and stormy down here but hey, I like rainy and stormy. No freaking humidity. AC and Cable Modem damnit! I'm in heaven. Florida's Democratic primary is a joke. First the general election, now the primaries. None dare call it a conspiracy. Heheh. I miss my friends back home, but theres work to do here. Later.
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So here we are. Whorelando, Floriduh. What a strange trip this day was. I didn't sleep at all so I was checking some emails when the crew that's remodeling my mother's bathroom broke a pipe. I almost had enough water for a shower and I ended up shaving at my grandma's. I glad I did get a chance to visit her. Ran some errands for her after shaving, gave her a big kiss and a big hug then I left for home. I switched some contents of my suitcases and brought them as part of my carry on luggage. Father screamed something at me and I just stayed quiet, focused. I was leaving home. No one was stopping me. The time came and Al came to pick me up. He offered to drive me to the airport. As soon as I began to say goodbye to dad, he started crying a bit. This is the second time I've seen my old man cry in my life. The first time we were mad at each other too. I left the house to stay with some friends at the time and when it was time to leave, he cried. That fucked me up bad, but my decision was made. I have to take control of my life. I called this friend of mine earlier at her job, she called we talked, promised to stay in touch. Good woman. Then Mom came, gave me some money but she was angry at me and my decision and started to throw things in my face, in a manner of speaking. I was about to tell her that that's one of the reasons I was getting the hell out, but held myself in check. I wasn't going to humor her stooping down to her level. Let he deal with that. Off to the airport.

Not many people were there, not surprisingly. Got my luggaged checked and searched, then the wait. All my electronics were on the carry on and I got stopped but to their credit, they were fast, polite and I answered their questions. The flight was bumpy and kinda long. I guess the two hour wait plus the three hour flight took their toll. I was lucky to have a row of seats to myself. I tried to sleep but couldn't. I was amazed that after all this years that I've travelled flying still keeps me on my toes. Insomnia, the wait and the flight were keeping me awake but in a daze. When the plane finally touched down I was relieved. Rafy picked me up, then we drove to his house to meet Nuria. Rafy's a former bandmate and a friend. Nuria's a friend I used to club with. I got them together, they married. I was the best man at their wedding. We got to the house and then we went to eat out. I chose Sonic to renew my Sonic fix. R & N chose Subway. We talked and ate queso manchego. Yummy. Haven't had that in a while. Then we talked about music, gossip, strategy and whatnot. On the way to the apartment I called home but as usual they don't have the time to even get a pen and paper to write down a number. *Sighs* All in all a very long day. Night.
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Ok this is it. Fate throws a wrench to gum up the works, but I'm going steady. A date for to take a test and then an interview. Tomorrow morning, things will be resolved. So either I stay for a little while longer or I leave. Some things tie me up to the island but at the end, I have to do this for me. No one else. So I think that I might take that plane after all.

What do you want me to say about today that hasn't been played to overkill by the major media outlets? Well actually I've got three things to say: 1. Was it worth pissing our hard earned rights away. 2. Have we succeded in all the military actions to get Bin Laden? 3. Does all the killing we've done in the name of this war against terror bring back any of the people we lost at the WTC, the Pentagon and over Pennsyvannia? 4. Has the US become a better nation because of this? 5. Has the US and it's people realized that this attack is a response to our goverment policies worldwide? I think you know the answer and I'll state it anyway: No.

It takes courage to defend and take a stand for your country, but it also takes courage to criticize it when your country fucks up. Of course it's easier for everyone to label people who criticize the current state of affairs. Even better to dismiss them or call them the enemy. It takes guts to be able to accept what's wrong with this country. Tell the truths people don't want to hear. 9/11 was a reality check. The damage we inflict as a result of our policies came home. We have to deal with it and we have to be able to realize that we're not the only ones here. Until we realize that, things are going to get ugly for all of us.

The US's chief weapons inspector in Iraq had the courage to tell the truth about all the hoopla about Saddam Hussein. Sorry Mr. Rumsfeld if you want to justify you and Dubya's warmongering, you'll have to look elsewhere. Yet in true Republican fashion we go to war in order to set a smokescreen to hide the real problems in this country. Business as usual.
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Heheheh. Created this poll out of sheer boredom and for our mutual amusement. Pick your fave reason down there. It helps if you know Spanish. Sorry. ;)
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Met my Grandma today. Probably for the last time. She's not my Grandma by blood, but she helped to raise my Mom and looked after us like we were her grandchildren. They did so much for us I don't know how to repay her, but I'll sure try. I almost cried when we were talking. I always wanted her to meet my fiancee or my wife. Shit! I don't know if I will manage to do it, but I'll try. She deserves that and more.I probably won't see my dad either. He's very sick. He lived a full life so when he passes I won't miss him as much. Still, I want him to know when things get better and successful with me. Just to make him proud. Well he has my half-brother and my younger bro to be proud of. I want him to go happy. Enough rants.
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I won't be your soundboard
I won't be your whipping boy
I'm tired of other people's drama
and yours as well
I'm tired of hearing you blame others for your situation
Take charge
Do what must be done
Stop whining
Start doing
stop wasting my time

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Therapy? - Unrequited - Troublegum



I've seen you without me
I've seen you without me

You can say what you want

I've seen you without me
I've seen you without me
I've seen you without me
(I know that you will understand)
I've seen you without me
(I know that you will understand)


Therapy? - Innocent X - Caucasian Psychosis

Is this real or is it a dream?
I can't seem to tell the difference anymore
Caught between needings
And the need to be real
Your open arms gaping
Like a busted sore

I turn and burn
my back like a rack
Your tourniquet twists me
Dangerous red
I breath in the air
It's pavement gray
It shrinks my skin
And I've done nothing wrong

I drop to my knees and work my skin
I feel this life pumping right through me
Love and death die on the dirty floor
Your upturned face doesn't even see

That this is all
I'll ever have
Cause I don't know
What I want
But something inside
Something inside
Something inside
I've done nothing wrong
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Just in case I ever need one, my porn star name is Cort Steele. Nice to meet ya. 2 days until I finally get over this nonsense called living in Puerto Rico. Wheeeeeeee!
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Wow. Today at work I had a nice surprise. The woman I went with to the movies showed up at the radio station. I was pleasantly surprised. Francisco came in later. It was nice to see her again. She stayed through the radio show and we had dinner together. The radio show was a killer. Here's the set list. All requested by the fine denizens who post at pulsorock's forums.

Glissando (1st Hour)

Eyeless in Gaza - Twilight
King Crimson - Thela Hun Ginjeet
My Bloody Valentine - Honey Power
Therapy? - Screamager
Sigur Ros - ny batteri
Blind Guardian - Lord Of The Rings
Sepultura - Policia
X-Japan - Sadistic Desire
King's X - Dogman
Ram-Zet - For The Sake Of Mankind

Interferencia 303 (2nd hour)

Droid - Lurch
Andreas Tjillander - Untitled #2 (Musique Concrete Ensemble remix)
KFMDM - Virus
Arovane - Theme
Telefon Tel Aviv - Fahrenheit Fair Enough
Ladytron - Playgirl
Ministry - Everyday Is Halloween
Antartica - Sedatif (en vivo en Enlaces)
Hijos de Cain - Jorge Por Favor

Amalgama (3rd Hour)

Los Planetas - dB
Caifanes - Quisiera Ser Alcohol
La Experiencia - La Isla Del Dr. Moron
Heroes Del Silencio - Babel
Santa Sabina - La Daga
la polla records - alicia
la polla records - los 7 enanitos
ongo - abriendo puertas
coabey - realmente
pixies - vamos
superaquello - el ornitorrinco

Very eclectic and very cool playlist. We had lots of fun in the show and a lot of responses. Much love to the guys at the show. Cheo, Eze, Iohann and Angelito made it all possible and worthwhile. We had lots of fun. I am gonna miss you so much you fuckers have no idea. Lots of love and keep up the good work.

Afterwards, this woman and I went to Zabor to watch Herman aka The Man Searching For Fun spin with another DJ. I was pleasantly surprised to find Pri and Bea there. Bea gave birth to Mauro a beautiful boy recently. Pri was back from the UK. It was really nice to see them. Carlitos and Bea bought me a Rum and Coke and this woman and I talked a lot about ourselves, what we want, what we look for. She told me some stuff that really touched me is that she appreciated me because she could be herself and not worry about anything at all when I was around, that I made her laugh and that she appreciated my friendship. I just smiled. That made my evening. Then I went home, got the new battery for my laptop so I'm charging it while I'm writing this. Anyway, off to bed. Tomorrow I begin to prepare for my flight on Wendesday.

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Let's see....
Yesterday a good friend and I shared some tears over the phoneline. I guess we realized how much shit we've taken recently but also we found strength in each other which was good. I was a bit worried about her but she's fine.

Went out to pay some bills with this bloody heat. Fuck! It was a short hop, thank God. I went back took care of some ignoramuses and then off to a movie with a friend.
I went to the movies with this girl I haven't seen in years. Francisco brought her to the station last week and we were both stunned. She's much better than when I last saw her so we agreed to go to watch Insomnia. Saw it twice but being the nice guy that I am, I saw it with her. Made her laugh a lot before the movie. Afterwards we went for some beers. It was good seeing her. Talked about lots of things and she's still gorgeous.

Got home with a bit of a pain in the stomach. I don't know why. Taking care of it. Kinda weird if you ask me.

Tomorrow's my last show at the station. Killer playlist. All requests. Good nonethless. Hopefully it will all be alright. Now if I can somehow get some rest.....

Forgot to mention...... Thursday night I dreamt of CJ. CJ's an old college flame. Used to party a lot and enjoyed each other's company. I dreamt that she was supposed to take me to the airport but we were trying to somehow having sex before going there. It was a strange but funny dream. Take care woman. Wherever you are.

Update. Last night I also dreamt about someone close to me from the past but right now I don't know who. Oh well....
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The drummer of one of my favorite bands in the whole world passed away. Shit. The good always die young and we have to deal with the mediocre and the really awful. I will play some of their songs on the show this weekend. This weekend's playlist is shaping up to be the shiznit. Nice way of leaving the show.
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Just finished watching "Last House On The Left". Brilliant slice of cheese. Luisma and I decided that a remake is in order. So here are our suggestions for most of the characters and the soundtrack:

The Dr. - John Larroquette
Krug - Vincent Gallo
Weasel - Steve Buscemi
Junior - Seth Green
The Evil Girl - Courtney Love

Vincent Gallo should do the score like David Ness did the original score. Otherwise the soundtrack should go to Revolting Cocks.
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After watching Werner Herzog's Nosferatu on DVD, it still confirms my status. Herzog's a sick motherfucker with a sense of humor. Klaus Kinski is still scary and F.W. Murnau would approve. I've seen Aguirre The Wrath Of God and Nosferatu. Probably will have to beef up with Cobra Verde and the rest of Herzog's works. Of course the soundtrack by Popol Vuh is the shiznit. Prime Krautrock. Late period Swans and Angels of Light are ripping them off badly, but nice influence to have. Nice little migraine afterwards, but a nap took care of it. Missed my friends of Icaro Azul on the telly tonight. Sheesh!
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A week until today I'll be flying out of here and I'm not coming back for a long while except for maybe a vacation or two. Whatta boring day.
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Let me tell you how shitty my day's been:

Get up this morning to get some stuff done. The fridge's door won't stay closed. Check that everything is where it should be. The damn thing won't close. Third try now the thing's closed.

I go to the computer to get my emails, surf, grab some ideas for articles and whatnot. Mother's coming again with a last minute plea for me to stay. After a long argument I have to scream at her. "NO. I DONT WANT TO BE HERE. YOU HAD ALL THIS TIME TO DO IT, AND IM SICK OF THIS. I'M OUT. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU. I JUST WANT TO LEAVE AND GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE."

Harsh words, I know but if you spent (or rather wasted) the last 10 months of your life in a place you hated, with all the promises they told you unfulfilled, in a place that you're uncomfortable, you might begin to grasp how bad my situation is. That's not even mentioned all the shit I've taken from my lovely family all this years. No. Sorry. Let them cope with their situation. I just want out of it all. The only one I care about is my little brother and he's happily on his own.

Eze messages me. Today's meeting's been cancelled. Great. I told him I ain't coming on Saturday I want to record 1 hour of music because my friend's bands are playing and it's the last chance I'll have to see them in a while. He says "no" you got the first hour and I want you to do it. Christ almighty! I think I can reach an arrangement with Angelito to see if we can record it Thursday or Friday night. I don't want to be around on Saturday, I'm sorry. I'm not the sentimental type and the last broadcast thing with the FA staff's gonna get sentimental and really gay ;)

This girl messages me and we talk. We've known each other by reputation only and she says she wants to meet me. I tell her "Ok. Great. Go to the station meeting and you'll get to see the station and the guys who run the show." Well with the station meeting cancelled, there won't be much to do right? So after much ado, I ask her to drop by the Borders near my house for a cup of coffee and some conversation.

Meanwhile my buddy Luisma comes over for some conversation about music and movies which is always nice. I go with him for some quick shopping and drops me at my house. I come in, have dinner, trim my haircut, cut the mustache and the goatee. I'm on schedule. Half an hour before our meet. Burned 2 CD's of my music. One for Luisma, the other for the woman I'm meeting.

Call her. She's still at her job. I ask her if she wants to cancel. Says "no no no". Asks me to call her around 20 till 8 to confirm. It's ok for me. Surf a bit. Call her. She's at her house. Tells me she'll get out of the house in 10 mins. I take 20 minutes and make my way to Borders.

40 minutes later, I'm in Borders, very fucking pissed. Sitting in a chair, reading their in-house magazine. I wonder what the hell happened. I call her on my cellphone, and on the third try, the fucking thing ate my minutes. I have to call 611 have them refund the minutes. Fuck it, at this stage I'm heading home. Called her for the last time I'm walking down my street heading towards my house and she tells me she just arrived.

Sorry I start to tell her but I'm going home. I tell her in a very controlled tone that it's bad enough as it is that I had a shitty day and then a long wait. Not this time. She apologizes. The phone goes offline. I'm this short of throwing the phone, kick and curse like nobody's business. Fuck it. I'm heading home. Call her from home. Tell her I didn't mean to hang up on her my phone died. She understands that I'm pretty fucking pissed at this point and apologizes. She had a rough day at work and at this online publication she runs with a bunch of her pals. She asks me when can she make it up for me. I ask her for suggestions. She wants me to tag along with her friends on Friday night. No. Not my style. I don't like going into situations where I'm in a room full of strangers. (I know I'm in a band but it's a whole different game there) Besides I might need Friday to record my last show. She can't do it tomorrow, so she settles for Thursday. Thursday it is. I'll ask her to go to the movies. She'll be paying. Let's see if I can get away with that.

Right now I'm upset at this whole day but if I can get away with this girl paying *me* to go to the movies with her, I'll be happy.

So..... How was your day?
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Closer to the date and my family's trying to hold on to me. Not a chance. My ass is outta here. No stopping me.
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Dinner date and I talked but she's not interested in anyone these days. Her loss.
Fate throws me another curveball. This time a girl I had a crush on from way back. Now single. Man. Whatta day!

Ten more days and my ass is outta here. Can't wait.
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Last night I went to a dinner date. It was interesting to say the least. Entertaining. Right now I'm just tired of the week. Can't wait to fly out of here. Fuck. Can't wait for that flight. Aside from that, I watched last night a film called "Birthday Girl". Even though I'm not a fan of Nicole Kidman's body of work, I happen to like her in "To Die For", "The Others" and now "Birthday Girl". I liked that film very much. Rent it.

Thanks for the opinions (solicited and unsolicited) about the song.
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Ok so I finally spent all night recording a version of the damn ;) song I'm happy with. I added more keyboards, re-recorded the vocals, added some harmonies (ha!) and I guess I'll be happy with this version. I guess this will be the final official verson. Unless I can hook up with Carlitos and have him add some sick guitars of his own. One can always be hopeful right?

If you have problems downloading the stream copy the url of the link above and paste it on Winamp or Real Player. You can also download the file here.
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Remember the song below? Well I added vocals now. I'm kinda embarassed because my lovely friend Angelito put them upfront at mixdown. Evil one, he is. Yes, that is my voice normally. I know. Sorry. ;) Well in case you hate it, I'll re-record the vocals at home and put some effects on them or won't put them so in front of the mix. Ha!
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:: how jedi are you? ::

Like I told you before, do NOT fuck with the little green guy. Gracias Cheo.
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Everyday Is Like Sunday...not

Spent the afternoon with my uncle, his girlfriend, her kid and two cousins eating in a fancy schmancy restaurant. It was good to see them, drink a few, trade stories and having a laugh. My cousin D. has a Korean girlfriend and they have a kid too. Cute little tyke. 2 years old. Cute and very nice. Full of energy. His wife works at the restaurant and she's a hard worker. I'm happy for them. My uncle's girlfriend's a nice girl Kid's smart and polite. My other cousin she's a really sweet young lady. Finishing college, working too. It was good to talk to her. We have the same taste in movies so we caught up in movies, stories, gossip, the usual stuff.

It was good to see them. Haven't had a good time with relatives for a long while.

I woke up early today so I think I'll call it a night. Night.
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These are some lyrics to a song I wrote last night. So far the song's instrumental, but hopefully I'll record the vocals soon. It's encoded at 32 bits so don't expect a hi-fi stream, but it should give you an indication of things to come. Yeah that's me on all the instruments.

Antartica - Tinnitus copyright music and lyrics 2002 Jose E. Roman. All rights reserved. All wrongs reversed.

Un ruido
que interfiere esta senal
de algo que anda mal

que me dejas al partir
y memorias
que se niegan a morir

(third verse same as the 1st)

A sabiendas
no merezco tu perdon
y lo nuestro
no tiene solucion

coro (x8)
Y esta espera
no se puede prolongar
y lo nuestro
se tuvo que acabar

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I can't believe this. A producer from the Don Francisco show at Univision emailed me and asked me about going to his show to talk about punk. I shit you not. This is legit. Free ticket to Miami? Hotel and Limo? Hell yeah!
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Here's to mullets, drugs and dumbasses. Meet Calvin Montgomery and Michael Headley. The men were just arrested on drug charges after trying to arrange a crack cocaine sale to undercover officers in Oklahoma City. So what separates this case from your standard buy and bust operation? Well, Montgomery, 42, and Headley, 37, were operating from the Biltmore Hotel at the same time 500 cops were attending the Association of Oklahoma Narcotic Enforcers annual training conference at the hotel, according to this probable cause affidavit filed by Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs Control agent William Diaz. When cops entered the pair's room, they found crack and pot stashes and drug paraphernalia. In addition, Diaz told TSG, the pair had stored $39,000 in cash and travelers checks in the Biltmore's safe. Headley claimed the money came from a recent "insurance settlement." Courtesy of The Smoking Gun.
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I bet Michele's laughing her ass off. Howdy neighbor! ;)

Which Breakfast Clubber Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

Dont You Forget About Me Motherfuckers! ;)

"When I get the money I'll get together all of the guys from the breakfast club
and play it over and over and over again and I'll yell to them......
- Beau Sia
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Lest I forget: Ok kids this is how a remake should be made. This version is as good as the original. Props.
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Well I haven't blog much of late. Been very busy. Got my upper left wisdom tooth pulled out and I still got this cough. Haven't slept much at all. This fucking heat is killing me. Aside from that, I'm leaving PR. Sept. 11th. For good. Tickets bought and all. I can't wait. 21 days left to leave.
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Life is turning me into what I hate the most. People demand honesty, but they lack it. Fuck! And then *they* wonder about the existence of cliches. Life's gonna turn me into one. Respect is supposed to be given. Now it will be earned. Innocent until proven guilty. Guilty until proven innocent. Proactive instead of reactive. No more Mr. Nice Guy. People have killed him. Trust no one. Let them earn it for a change. I've had enough of people's bullshit. Don't like it? Tough. There are 6 billion others out there. Take your pick.
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(thanks to Daryl for this one)
*If* you like the White Stripes and I do, check this out:
Steven McDonald of Redd Kross has added bass parts and harmonies to the White Stripes "White Blood Cells" album.
The results are amazing. The whole thing is on mp3 format authorized by the band.
You can download it here until August 25th. After that, it's gone daddy gone. Download and judge for yourself.
This has made my day.

This and a friend's news have cheered me up from a deppressing dream about my ex. YAY!!!!!!!!
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I should be happy in some aspects of my life which I am
but being the non-conformist that I am I refuse to accept the ones I don't like
and I have to make some decisions. Soon.

I wish I could sleep, I really do and I can't get any......
sleep that is. :)

Alright on with the show.....
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Ok here it goes.......

discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com

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I haven't written in a while. Been sick and busy. Sorry about that. Right now I'm waiting for a friend to call and see if I can do the move. I hate leaving PR but I can't get a decent job. It's pissing me off. Right now I'm undecided. Got some more options but let's see what happens. Right now I'm really tired. Physical and Mental, I gotta hang on regardless. Aside from that I need to relax.
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Just a reflection of my mood during this time I've spent back "home". If I ever made a film about 9/11/01, this would be the soundtrack. It'd be a short black and white piece.

"the dead flag blues" - godspeed you black emperor!

the car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel
and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides
and a dark wind blows
the government is corrupt
and we're on so many drugs
with the radio on and the curtains drawn

we're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine
and the machine is bleeding to death

the sun has fallen down
and the billboards are all leering
and the flags are all dead at the top of their poles

it went like this:

the buildings tumbled in on themselves
mothers clutching babies picked through the rubble
and pulled out their hair

the skyline was beautiful on fire
all twisted metal stretching upwards
everything washed in a thin orange haze

i said: "kiss me, you're beautiful --
these are truly the last days"

you grabbed my hand and we fell into it like a daydream or a fever

we woke up one morning and fell a little further down --
for sure it's the valley of death

i open up my wallet and it's full of blood