this is the part of the movie when i wake up, shower, get dressed, ready for work, don't even bother to look at the face in the mirror, brush teeth, get up go.

this is the part of the movie when i spend the last of my money on breakfast and a paper. read the paper, killing an hour. get up. go to the bus stop.

this is the part of the movie when i get on the bus, run the buspass and sit down, then this headache settles down on me hard. like a rhino sitting on top of my head, all heavy. all i want to do is scream. scream like a madman but i can't.

this is the part of the movie when i get off at the bus station, throw the paper in the thrash, and make a mad dash to the public library. business that are usually open at this hour are closed. I sometimes wonder if I'm in a dream and the rhino on top of my head keeps bugging me. I wish I could just get rid of it. I get in the library, get some Excedrin from the pain, my eyes still hurting. As soon as I swallow I guess my body kicks into psychosomatic mode, the pain subsides, but my eyes still hurt. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I sometimes feel like my whole world's collapsing around me. I don't know. At least the pain is away. For now.

This is the part of the movie where I still wish I could scream. A loud piercing scream that would be heard accross the world. Still, I have no mouth and I need to scream. That's how it feels like.

B. take care precious.