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There's a storm in heaven, but hopefully we'll manage. Relationships are lots of work., but it's worth it. It just drains me.
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Well lots of work going on. Also bought some new gadgets for the laptop. Mobile and wireless. It's cool. Missing V. a lot I just wished we could see each other more frequently but we got our lives to live. Anyway hopefully I'll see her Tuesday and Wendesday. Sunday. Ach. I don't know. Need to sleep more.
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more fun with keywords:

1. a picture of asorma binlarden. >>> was he looking for a picture of osama bin laden? or someone else?
2. bacardi silvers >>> a good drink. mmmmmm.
3. pernell roberts and coworkers. >>> huh?
4. willie wanker >>> well that's the nick of one of my friends but lo and behold, there's a porn flick with that name too.
5. pink cellphone >>> oh no. the pink cellphone strikes again!!!!!!!!
6. ze germans come >>> i'm sure they do. LOL
7. Pictures of Cowboys Nightclub in Arlington, TX >>> huh? pt. 2
8. working with a vindictive boss >>> hmmmmmm. you too?
9. mario panoptika >>> good pal. great band.
10. super conductores electronicos >>> electronic superconductors. well we're a high-tech bunch....
11. HICKS MUSTE TATE & FURST >>> 400 radio stations. that's a lot innit?
12. profile of a blogger >>> yeah i'm a blogger. what's it to ya?
13. Mazukamba >>> good local band. played with them last year on my birthday.
14. bassett hound waycross GA >>> huh? pt. 3
15. junio 2003 24 OR 25 OR 26 "viejo san juan >>> what? am i missing something?
16. angry people's pics >>> i'm angry alright.... grrrrrrrr
17. faq you >>> yes, there are several other faq you's out there. hi guys!
18. microdemocracy >>> because microbes and the micronauts need a form of government too.
19. wisdom tooth pulled smoking >>> talk about a hot mouth
20. yes boys and girls, a nipple blog.
21. "lose friends" +humor -book >>> heheh.
22. el rockero loco >>> file under "whatever happened to......"
23. Alberto fucked on table pool >>> I don't know anything about that. That's between him and his girl. LOL
25. another blog.

this is too funny! i'll guess we'll make it a weekly feature.
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More quality time with V. Watched "Frida" together and a really bad Chow Yun Fat film. Bad but had a barrel of laughs watching it. Aside from that, added some more picture on the mo' pictures link. Building up a little gallery of our own. Right now I'm hungry as hell but can't think of anything more to say. Except that life is good.
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Had a great afternoon and evening with V. Made her laugh a lot. Life is good. Especially when she's around. Gotta love her.
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from the twilight zone dept:

either there was a glitch in the matrix or someone hacked into my blog because when i went online to see it, it had a whole different template. the only thing i could recognize from it were my posts but the rest was very different. how did it happen? fuck if i know, but whoever or whatever did it, it was beautiful. whoever you are, i salute you. back to our normally scheduled deprogramming, i hope.

here's a screenshot:

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here i am in cleansing mode. deleted 3 gigs off my computer. unnecessary crap, duplicates, resizing and cropping. cathartic. i always love cleansing. down with the old, on with the new. beautiful. aside from that uploading new pictures on the mo' pictures link. bought a sanyo 8100 cel with camera so let's see what manages to catch my eye. monday, last day on my work week. seeing v. tomorrow. can't wait.
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more fun with keywords. this time people found their way here through:

1. th' faith healers - great band. yes i love them.
2. fever of sabado at night - huh? saturday night fever? here? what da fook?
3. puerto rico goth - hmmmmm. well i do like to dress in black and i like goth....
4. monica tirado - well there is a photographer who took some antartica pictures awhile back......
5. candela bar - one of my hangouts, haunts, spots, etc.
6. blog found through similarminds.com
7. introdujos - one of our favorite bands.
8. cojoba - another of our favorite bands.
9. enlaces cafe - i don't hang out there as much but it's a nice place.
10. pimpdaddysupreme - i wonder how he's doing? he's sorely missed.
11. trashville - aaaaaaaaah one of my former headquarters.
12. AIM chat rooms scenesters - ooooooook.
13. another blog through similarminds.com
14. Alexander Gudonov cause of death - it wasn't me.

And there you have it. Enjoy!
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the last 72 hours were so damn good.
went to see my pals of burning face reunite after a long while. the show was awesome, great vibe, we all had fun to be had. went with willie wanker and carilis and met with the rest of the gang there. what a great time. then hooked up with phillip, his lovely wife denise, cesar and javier el pollo back to isabela to crash at p&d's place since i had the next day off and meet v. for lunch. on the way there a lot of anecdotes and fun. it was good to hook up with them.
next day philip drove me to aguadilla mall to meet with v. what can i say when i meet her? it was so cool. ran some errands then crashed at her place. really cool apartment. met her cats, listened to some music......well you get the rest. a lot of catching up and it was good. we went for dinner afterwards and then some more catching up. Heh. Next morning was a beat freaky but we had breakfast and she drove me home. on the way home she was blasting everything from aqua to billy idol and even though she wasnt feeling well and my stomach got queasy, we were joking and laughing and i was being extremely retarded with my drink cup. she drove me home for a quick change and work.
work was fine. a tad slow but i got a commendation from one of my team leads. i felt good, confident and delivered the goods yesterday. also made a lot of sales so that should be good too. i went to the mall and bought me a new cellphone. might as well get into a regular account rather than prepaid. figured i'd spend as much. this little gadget will be put to use so expect some pictures soon. it's funny. this particular model is selling like hotcakes so when i inquired about it in the proper store where it's sold the only model they had was a pink one. i couldn't stop laughing about it and i had to call v to tell her. proper hysterics ensued after visions of me in a pink tutu and a pink cellphone. not in this life. maybe for a performance. i am thinking of getting more overtime this week if possible, but not without sacrificing quality time with v. i love her lots.
i sort of catched up with my z's too. both at v's place and at home. got up obscenely early to test ze new cellphone. the learning curve is not as bad as i thought. heh. anyway....
yes, it's that good. and the hippie finally got his website back up. so check out sidacrackyrocknroll in the links section.
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Welcome to the freak show, really! pt. 1

Inspired by Rose's blog, I was inspired to find to find the referrals to this site. So this is what I've found so far as of today.

1. cleveland film comission
2. unknown
3. sin love x art cool looking blog.
4. another blog
5. angry ex's (um naaaaaaaaaaaah!)
6. galerias de luisma or luisma galleries. (what is *he* doing?)
7. second to none me too are u. (WHAT?)
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After a lot of work and waiting for the computer to master the last two tracks, O.P.A.L.'s debut reissue is available. What are you waiting for? GO! Now I can get some sleep! ;)
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Life has become a series of altered states between consciousness, insomnia, half asleep, half awake. It doesn't bug me as much as sometimes I wished I could get my proper 8 hours, but it's fucking hot in here so that won't happen. V and I are keeping in touch via the usual means. We miss each other but we've got work today. During the weekend I was working on this sort of zombified state that didn't concern me much because I was so calm with even the angriest customers and it worked to my advantage. I bought a TV/VCR and a little cart. I figured out that if I'm gonna be living here, I'd rather start buying some proper furnishings and establishing my proper domain. Once I assemble that, get my DVD player off the living room, bring it in here and watch anything I want in complete calm. Met Willie Wanker to coordinate his performance next month so I have to schedule that in advance. Aside from that, looking forward to meet some friends I haven't seen in ages next Thursday night. I have Friday off so the plan is to meet V. and stay overnight, come back to work the next day. Fingers crossed. Rose and I chatted a bit. It's always good to talk to her and keep in touch. Cheli emailed me. Back from vacation, she is. LOL. Anyway, tonight I gotta upload some more material to my page. Gotta keep myself busy. This week's schedule actually allows me to have a social life , so I better make the best of it.
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lengthy post about father's day gone the way of the dodo due to blogger's snafus. check~
lengthy job yesterday because a proper clusterfuck in the systems. check!
lengthy wait to see v. again. well, there's always the phone and the net. check!
lengthy wait to fall asleep in order to sleep a couple of hours. check!
see? this one posted. life does have a sense of humor. btw, happy father's day.
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So I guess that horoscope accidentally published in a newspaper in Spain (the editors already apologized for it) explains all the emotional shitstorm that occurred a few months back, does it? :D
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ok. i've had enough of my father.
i love him. he's a decent man.
but for fuck's sake i don't want anything to do with him.
i was basically going to the shower and i had to hurry to meet v. for lunch.
he takes the car to run some errands.
he calls from the pharmacy because he has problems with his car key.
there's nobody home.
so i have to basically get dressed, meet him there. mad as fuck, because i will not get there to see v. i won't see her until monday at the earliest.
i tell him to give me his key, test it. somehow it doesn't work. i use mine. i ask him to shut up while i'm doing this.
he keeps nagging and nagging and nagging and pestering. i ask him to shut up twice and very politely while i'm figuring out what happened to his key.
he's not shutting up. i'm way too upset.
i park the car. give him my key and walk away.
he can stick the keys and the car up his ass.
i'm tired of his nagging and his fucking problems. my mom nor my sister talk to him because of that. i see no reason to deal with him.
i know it's terrible, but live with him for the better part of 35 years and then get back to me.

I'm sorry V. that I had to cancel that.

I'm still pretty pissed. Well at least that's one least of my worries.

No, I don't have tolerance for bullshit these days. Later.
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I'm so happy to see you
cause your presence soothes me
and there's nothing better in this world
than making you smile or laugh.
So thank you darling.

Anyway, I finally got DSL here. Heheheeh. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Meanwhile my friend SOA asked me to contribute to his site, so I'm more than happy to oblige.

So there's V., DSL and a Hot Topic store nearby. I'm so realized. ;)

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Here I am wishing you were here
wishing you were there by my side
cuddling, fast asleep
this heat is killing me
but I need your warmth
I should get some rest
if I am to see you tomorrow
so I close my eyes
and dream of you.........
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Hmmm. Glitch in the Matrix causes entire blog posting to dissappear. Meanwhile, yesterday went to see The Matrix Reloaded for the 4th Time. Revkunin hasn't seen it, so it was our duty to see it. ;) V. left her training early so we met after the movie. First stop to handle some biz with Big Al and of course she was introduced. Then went to the mall, checked out Suncoast, Hot Topic, had some dinner, V. was in 300% annoying mode so she was funny as hell. We went back to my parents so she could check her emails and whatnot. Mom was sick with a bout of stomach virus but she can take care of herself. V. and I spent our last evening and night together this week and I miss her already. Went for breakfast, ran an errand for her and came back to the parentals to check on mom. Might as well stay here until it's time to work.

V. and I discovered a lot about each other this past two days and we still love each other. There are some trust issues she has to work out but that comes with time. I just have to earn this one baby. It's ok. Time is on our side. Let's see if this one posts properly.
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Monkeys and more for your amusement here.
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Ok so here we are. Me and the good Rev hit Hot Topic and his reaction was classic. "Go to the website, don't sponsor this." I understand his reasoning but since I don't have nor believe in credit cards.....you know the rest. It was good seeing him and listening to some shit from The Datsuns, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Ladytron, etc. Anyway, booked ze room and met V. in the afternoon. She did some coursework at my house and then we got together. What can I say? Brilliant, intense, sheer pleasure. Didn't sleep much and managed to get breakfast together. So here I am waiting for Big Al to show up, meet the Rev to watch The Matrix (my 4th time. sheeeeesh!) and then pick up Viv and more fun. Can't wait to see her again.

I heard from a friend that Milton and Anthony have a band together apparently their stuff is making waves. I can't say any details now but I can't wait to hear their material and help them in any way I can.

Ok tomorrow it's back to work. Let's seize the day.
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V. woke me up this morning but she's allowed, being my girlthing and all. Now don't start, I'm her boything ok? Anyway, she woke me up but she's allowed and i mumbled stuff to her like "i miss you, i love you" and probably some other things in an alien dilect only people who are partly conscoious can probably understand. i feel guilty about not calling her later because i was busy as fuck. once i decided to wake up, i realized i actually had some time to do some shopping, which i did. the evil powers that be opened a hot topic in puerto rico so officially punk is dead here, but i went anyway. they have some cool shirt (not the bands, but the ramones, the clash's and blondie's shirts i kinda wanted). i went for a black one with something clever to annoy people around me and a Cleopatra goth sampler. Oh I'm so fucking goth now. :rolleyes: Anyway left with a serious jones of buying the black Chuck Taylors (the only fucking sneakers or trainers like the brits call them that matter). I ate and then went to the office a bit early for some overtime.

Actually my shift didn't go as bad as last week. Yes, some customers are on crack, but I handled most of my situations and escalated 1 call. Working hard to pay my bills. I went for a quick lunch and then back to work again. All this and I completely forgot to call V., but seeing her tomorrow, I will make up for it. I was so busy that I actually had to handle a big case with a customer and this guy needed some serious help so I stayed a bit longer. OT is good. Seeing V. tomorrow and I can't freaking wait. I'm sorry baby for not calling you today but I'll make it up to you. Promise.

Revkunin is back in the island and I plan to visit him to see how he's doing. Anyway, I should sleep a bit, should I?
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i never said i was perfect
but then you're here
and i wished i was
because my greatest fear
is dissappointing you
and losing you
so here i am
naked and vulnerable
i've got nothing to hide
i know i'm not perfect
but i want you to understand
what i've been through
the choices i've made
good and bad
they're here for you to read

and i don't know how to finish this one. sorry.
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V's sick and I wish I was there to help her through it. Meanwhile I'm working my ass off, sometimes stressed to the max and when I think that I'm screwing things up, I get a 100 % quality evaluation and a 93 and a 95. Whoah. And I got the best girlfriend in the whole wide goddamn world and I miss her lots.

Yes I know I'm silly, but that's what being in love is about. Being silly and stupid and slightly insane.

I think I should go to bed now. Last night I was up until the next day working on reviving my label. http://www.rojoynegro.net Check it out. Still, a work in progress.
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Missing V., but at the same time she keeps me happy, sane. I can hear her smile while we talk on the phone. I can feel her when we chat and of course when we're actually together sparks fly. I am very happy now with the way things are turning out. We got something good to build on. I know we'll make it. Anyway, it's 4 am and after much tweaking and working on my new project, I think I should get some sleep.

A Hot Topic was opened here in Plaza Carolina. I'm going to check it out. Got some people I know working in there. Might spent a bit of my check.

To answer your question V: Yes, I do love you very much.

Night night!
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Of course there are side effects to this... :p ....mainly Blogger switching ze blog to a new template and my older posts dissappearing. Try the archive to see if they're there. Yes, I reported this bug to Blogger Control and yes, they are working on it.


Thinking about it......hmm.....except for the last month or so when I met V., being able to erase the last two years of my life would be kind of nice, but then again, without that experience, things wouldn't lead up to this. Heh. If real life was as easy as this eh?

Anyway, let's see if Blogger can take care of this.

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Wake up. You feel something change. Try to sort yourself here. Something has changed, you feel better, a bit tired though, but lack of sleep does that to you. You go about your business of waking up and the cellphone rings. V's on the line. A bit stressed and worried but you try to calm her down. She asks you to read her blog. You fear the worst and you type your way there. Then you know why everything's changed. Well, it's not everything. Just that you realize that finally you meet someone that feels the same as you are. That makes your life complete, whole. That makes you happy. There she is. What are you waiting for? And for the first time in years, you feel very good. Let's see where this leads.
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Second day. Easier than the first. Learning the ropes. Working hard. Tired. Watching "The Wire". Missing V. Badly. Wishing that one of these days I would come home to her. Just get back home, go to bed, feel her warmth. It will happen. Soon.
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"I'm ready to say I'm glad to be alive" - U2 "Zoo Station"

Just when you think things are gonna be pretty bleak, lights come out and help you find your way back.

A day full of conversations and revelations. First off, managed to talk to G. D. today. Puppy and I were concerned but she called and things were cool. That woman still floors me even though we've known each other for a while. She could sell a fridge to an eskimo easily. She, Alpha, T-Girl and Arwen have shown some guts and solidarity and I didn't even know. That she took time off from her very busy schedule to have a long conversation with me was cool. Thanks guys.

Pellejo and I chatted too. Willie Wanker sent a couple of message. Chito and Jorge too. All this support from friends translated into my return to performance. Some gigs planned. Feeling better and inspired. That last gig at Don Pablo helped a lot too.

Last but not least because thats the most important part of all: V. We chatted and talked for a looooooong while too. Even though we want to take it slow, we want to be with each other so badly. Yes so cool, so noble and brings out the best in me. I can't let go of someone like that. I can't believe this is happening, but I accept it with open arms. You are cool, beautiful, and restored my faith in people and my self-confident. I owe you a lot. Thank you.

Went out with Luisma to Old San Juan for a couple of beers and people watching in Noche De Galerias. Nothing extraordinary but I was very happy thinking and actually missing V's company.

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Got the imood thing back because I wanted to, damn it. LOL

our thing
sentimental cosa nostra
this thing of ours
it looks good
feels better
at ease 24/7
and i find myself
missing you more
hating when we part
looking forward
to this feeling
this synchronicity
this future
this thing
called us
for lack of a better word
for fear of spoiling it
and letting it grow
looking forward
see where it leads
grinning wide
for the possibilities
and potentials
smile, baby
this is ours

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Yesterday I started my shift at my new job. I was a bit nervous. Despite acing the training with a whooping 94% (you need at least 85% to go to the next stage) and rehearsing every possible scenario, I knew from previous experiences that being on the floor is very different from any training environment. I visualized the 20 of us marching towards the floor and translating it to the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan. Yeah it's that vicious, but I also knew that once I got past that first call, everything would fall into place.

Well, actually it took the first half of my shift for everything to fall into place,but it's ok. The first call is always the most difficult and the others set the pace. Once I got past my lunchtime I felt more confident. Even took a customer compliment so that was good. The coaches saw that I handled it professionally so that was good. Today and tomorrow I'm off and I look forward to being back there on Wendesday. Some of my co-workers who haven't had the experience were a bit shaken, but I gave them encouragement. They are good people, but in unfamiliar territory. Blend that with the training and everything will be alright.

I didn't sleep at all because I came home to dub some stuff to Al. Some of it actually confirmed my views on Japanese art. Rigid stratified societies produce extreme art. Action, reaction. Causality.

Saw V. today. We always have a good time together. Whether we were shopping for books, paying video rental fees, lunch, a movie, dinner, eating ice cream. At ease in conversation and in silence. She feels strongly about us. So do I. She says I'm her soulmate. I agree in the aspect that we feel very comfortable together. It's really amazing. I haven't felt this way in ages. At complete and utter peace with her. While shopping for books, I somehow thought about us a bit older, sitting on a cafe, drinking coffee, reading, talking to each other. I mentioned this to her, and she agreed. She said "I thought about that. In Paris. I'd like to travel sometime." I'm thinking of working hard enough to save to travel to Europe in a year for my vacation. I want her to be there with me. In our conversations, I discover that we see a future together. This hasn't happened to me for a long time. For a long while in my personal relationships, after breaking up with Lana, I never thought past the moment, the present, that instant. Now I do. It's interesting that we think of plans and the future at this stage, but the usual alarms, bells and whistles don't go off here. Something is very right. We watched "Phone Booth" which was more fun and interesting than we thought. I think Kiefer Sutherland sounds like a young Hannibal Lecter there. Really good flick. We spent all afternoon together in each other's company. Pure bliss. I can't ask anything better than this. Thank you.
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Had a 7 hour conversation with V. Thanks for instant messaging. I couldn't see how we could've pulled this one otherwise. I think we have a better understanding of each other from this. We know where we come from and how we are the way we are. Can't wait to see her tomorrow.

Starting my proper shift today. So I better get back to bed. Later.