so another meetup has come to pass and it was really good. good enough to forget about momentarily the fact i want to be disowned by my family (except my little brother. can't help but love him and he's done much for me). i know what my mother said was too good to be true, but i took a chance and it blew on my face. fuck it. i ain't coming back home. at least not for a long while. every major dissappointment in my life she has had something to do with. i can't stand her anymore. i'm sorry and i know i'm terrible but i don't want to know from them. not for a long while. let them have their christmas and their own dramas. i have enough things to take care of. bought a cheap minidisc today and started recording some stuff for the rides to work and also will start to work on field recordings. keeping myself busy, as always.

guess what? tomorrow i'll hit downtown and the clubs. get drunk. act silly. i need to get over all of this crap.