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Nurturing my inner vampiric lesbian. O algo.

Selene
SELENE: You are selene!
Beautiful, vivacious,
fierce and seductive, Selene vowed she would
destroy Lycans after her family was murdered by
the werewolves. So ruthless is she that selene
is a member of the Death Dealers. This elite
Vampire warrior class's mission is to make the
Lycans extinct.
Ever wish you could be a
vampire?






Which UNDERWORLD character are you?
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YouSendIt | Email large files quickly, securely, and easily!

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YouSendIt | Email large files quickly, securely, and easily!

InformationWeek > Windows XP SP2 > Langa Letter: How To Save an Hour (Or More) On XP Installs > September 20, 2004

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InformationWeek > Windows XP SP2 > Langa Letter: How To Save an Hour (Or More) On XP Installs > September 20, 2004
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Life is funny sometimes. The Hottie was lurking around these parts and she just told me. She also gave me another surprise. Take a wild guess.....
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so after a long and intense day
and a night's sleep
here i stand
the angel with broken wings staring at the stars and wishing to reach one
the knight with tarnished armour and no damsel
the struggle is hard
the struggle is beautiful
life goes on
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I rolled the dice
I took my chances
I crashed
and burned
Too eager
Too much
Too soon

Allow me to wallow in enough self-pity until I'm fed up and angry enough to snap out of it. I'll wait a bit to see how things turn out, but being the realistic motherfucker that I am, I basically blew it.

She said it's her fault, not mine. I share some of the blame though.

She said the world needs more people like me. I only want one person.

Somebody please get me something to dull the pain. I don't want to feel anything today.

Aside from that, lunch was great, playing pool was fun and the company was superb despite the circumstances.

Wired News: Dawn of the Dead-Flesh Eaters

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Wired News: Dawn of the Dead-Flesh Eaters

Hold on to yer breakfasts...........
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I'm testing this thingie that allows me to post to my blog without accessig blogger from my Linux partition. If you can read this, it works.



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Goth
Goth


What Kind of Goth Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

echoandthebunnymen.jpg
You're all about the music. Not too incredibly
mainstream, but not too incredibly underground.
It's awfully hard for anyone to oppose you,
seeing as how you rule.


What band from the 80s are you?
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CHAN CHAN CHAAAAAAAAAAAN

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Greatest gun ever! Feel special. Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the living bejesus outta anyone.
Sig Sauer P226. Greatest gun ever! Feel special.
Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the
living bejesus outta anyone.


What handgun are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


The Devil Card
You are the Devil card. The Devil is based on the
figure Pan, Lord of the Dance. The earthy
physicality of the devil breeds lust. The
devil's call to return to primal instincts
often creates conflict in a society in which
many of these instincts must be kept under
control. Challenges posed by our physical
bodies can be overcome by strength in the
mental, emotional, and spiritual realms. Pan is
also a symbol of enjoyment and rules our
material creativity. The devil knows physical
pleasure and how to manipulate the physical
world. Material creativity finds its output in
such things as dance, pottery, gardening, and
sex. The self-actualized person is able to
accept the sensuality and usefulness of the
devil's gifts while remaining in control of any
darker urges. Image from The Stone Tarot deck.
http://hometown.aol.com/newtarotdeck/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

For the record, J. (formerly known as the hottie. she's still hot but i don't want to come accross as a sexist bastard. ok, as a sexist. y'all know i'm a bastard.) thinks Justice might fit me.
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Joaquin Sabina - Manual para héroes o canallas

Aprender a reirse torvamente
a mirar de reojo en los bautizos
a negar el asiento a las señoras
a orinar dibujando circulitos.
Aprender a fruncir el entrecejo
a enfadar a las monjas y a los niños
a poner zancadilla al guardia urbano
a escupir sin piedad sin piedad por un colmillo.

Preferir la navaja a la pistola
el vino peleón al jerez fino
el infame pañuelo a la corbata
una venus de Murcia a la de Milo.

Aprender a cortar la cabeza
a vestir negro luto los domingos
a decir palabrotas en los trenes
a jugar el parchis con los bandidos.
Apurar los licores del fracaso
trasladarse a vivir al barrio chino
propagar mil rumores alarmantes
aprender a ser malo y fugitivo.


Contigo - Joaquin Sabina

Yo no quiero un amor civilizado,
con recibos y escena del sofá;
yo no quiero que viajes al pasado
y vuelvas del mercado
con ganas de llorar.
Yo no quiero vecínas con pucheros;
yo no quiero sembrar ni compartir;
yo no quiero catorce de febrero
ni cumpleaños feliz.
Yo no quiero cargar con tus maletas;
yo no quiero que elijas mi champú;
yo no quiero mudarme de planeta,
cortarme la coleta,
brindar a tu salud.
Yo no quiero domingos por la tarde;
yo no quiero columpio en el jardin;
lo que yo quiero, corazón cobarde,
es que mueras por mí.
Y morirme contigo si te matas
y matarme contigo si te mueres
porque el amor cuando no muere mata
porque amores que matan nunca mueren.
Yo no quiero juntar para mañana,
no me pidas llegar a fin de mes;
yo no quiero comerme una manzana
dos veces por semana
sin ganas de comer.
Yo no quiero calor de invernadero;
yo no quiero besar tu cicatriz;
yo no quiero París con aguacero
ni Venecia sin tí.
No me esperes a las doce en el juzgado;
no me digas "volvamos a empezar";
yo no quiero ni libre ni ocupado,
ni carne ni pecado,
ni orgullo ni piedad.
Yo no quiero saber por qué lo hiciste;
yo no quiero contigo ni sin ti;
lo que yo quiero, muchacha de ojos tristes,
es que mueras por mí.
Y morirme contigo si te matas
y matarme contigo si te mueres
porque el amor cuando no muere mata
porque amores que matan nunca mueren.
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Weathering a storm on the hottie's side last night. Being there for her and whatnot. It's cool. I like listening to what she has to say. Sent me a note today and I appreciate it. She said the planet needs people like me. I almost replied "screw the planet. I only want you." Heh. This woman and I have lots of coincidences and things in common. We're both abstract thinkers, among other things. Right know, I'd settle for a kiss from her. Just one kiss. Actually, more than one, but hey, that's just me. Teehee!

Yup mostly everyone around me is infatuated these days. Must be something in the water. Anyhoo, cheers!
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Ok she called and sounds better. Mood improved, so everything's alright. Now I must get something to eat. I'm starving.

Joy Division - Ceremony

This is why events unnerve me,
They find it all, a different story,
Notice whom for wheels are turning,
Turn again and turn towards this time,
All she ask’s the strength to hold me,
Then again the same old story,
Word will travel, oh so quickly,
Travel first and lean towards this time.

Oh, I’ll break them down, no mercy shown,
Heaven knows, it’s got to be this time,
Watching her, these things she said,
The times she cried,
Too frail to wake this time.

Oh, I’ll break them down, no mercy shown,
Heaven knows, it’s got to be this time,
Avenues all lined with trees,
Picture me and then you start watching,
Watching forever, forever,
Watching love grow, forever,
Letting me know, forever.
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The Sisters Of Mercy Nine While Nine

And it's passing strange
And I'm waiting for the train
Caught up on this line again
And it's passing slowly
Killing time but it's
Better than living in what will come and I've
Still got some of your letters with me and I
Thought sometimes or I read too much
And I think you know let's
Drink to the dead lying under the water and the
Cost of the blood on the driven snow and the
Lipstick on my cigarettes
Frost upon the window pane
Nine while nine and I'm waiting
For the train.....

She said do you remember a time when angels
Do you remember a time when fear
In the days when I was stronger
In the days when you were here she said
When days had no beginning
While days had no end when
Shadows grew no longer I
Knew no other friend but you
Were wild
You were wild.....

Frost upon these cigarettes
Lipstick on the window pane and I've
Lost all sense of the world outside but I
Can't forget so I call your name and I'm
Looking for a life for me and I'm
Looking for a life for you and I'm
Talking to myself again and it's
So damn cold it's just not true and I'm
Walking through the rain
Trying to hold on waiting for the train and I'm
Only looking for what you want but it's
Lonely here and I think you knew and I'm
And I'm waiting
And I wait in vain
Nine while nine and I'm waiting
For the train..... [repeat last verse x2]
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Sleep deprivation is a wonderful thing........

Ultraviolet

Got one foot out the door
and my finger on the trigger
Countdown to my own
extinction level event
Nihilism never sounded so good
and so fucking cliche'd

Cold hard and dark
black, blue and bruised
One man wreck
My demolition derby
Brakes are cut
Straight down to hell

Sleep won't come
I'll sleep when I'm dead
I'm outta my head
I want to spit lead
fire and brimstone
straight to my tombstone


I had one of those long chats with her last night. We spoke stuff we needed to get out. It was late so I'm not sure about the outcome. I should find out this week. Right now I need some sleep, I am in no mood for taking crap from anyone and I'd rather sleep for several days. No, I don't particularly want to deal with the outside world right now, so bear with me.
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slower than molasses. restored ye olde loop to this and my other site. might work on new ones this week. enjoy!
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So..........

Friday originally planned to watch Maria Full of Grace with the hottie and introduced her to churrasco heaven at Levi's, but you know what happens with the best laid plans. So we ended up watching Exorcist: The Beginning and ate somewhere else. Later we hit Pancho's for drinkydrinks. It was not what I planned, but it was cool.

Next day, I was suppposed to rehearse with las nenas, but we didn't and spent the afternoon and evening watching movies, joking and meeting Vero's rabbitt. I did the show with Josetomas and it went very well. Afterwards hit Rumba to watch un.real, introdujos and some astrid proll. Missed Superaquello, but it was all good. Las nenas were sneaking beers and we had lots of fun in the show. The hottie was having quality time with her family at the movies, but she was missed.

I have to remind myself that I have to take it a bit slow in this dating thing. I don't want to blow it, but then again, you can't be too slow on it either. Still, conversations are good and entertaining.

Anyway, I gotta do some laundry, so excuse me.
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Which That '70s Show Character Are You?
j, you're like Hyde

Even if you don't wear aviator sunglasses and rock 'n' roll t-shirts everyday (though we certainly hope you do), it looks like you share Hyde's thought-provoking take on life. Whether or not you're hatching conspiracy theories about corporate America, aliens, or rock legends, it's clear that you don't take things at face value. Somebody's gotta ask the questions. It might as well be a thinker like you.

Playing the tough guy may or may not come as easily to you as it does to Hyde. But like him, you've got a soft side underneath that serious exterior. Even if you don't show it, your gang knows it. And that's why you're so groovy to have around!

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Christ! How can I be happy and feel joyful about life and love in general when someone I care about is heart broken probably because it's my damn fault?

We *all* deserve to be happy. Even a wretch like me. If it's me the reason for your heart break, I am truly and deeply sorry because I've never [b]ever[/b] wanted to hurt you. You are a bright spot in my life and you've been a true friend whose been thru thick and thin, but if it's me who's hurting you because of what's happening to me right now, please try to understand.

I want to make you happy, but I also need to find if I can find happiness with this person I am starting to know. Perhaps it's nothing, perhaps it's something, but I need to find out. I need to know. I need this. I haven't felt this way about someone in a while, and like I said, God knows what will happen, but I have to pursue this. I have to give it a shot.

I don't want to feel unhappy. I don't want to feel alone. I don't want you to face that either. Please, pretty please. Again, I am sorry for hurting you, because you are the last person I want to hurt in this sorry life of mine.


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Last night dinner with Vero. X-box shopping, burgers, gossip and lots of jokes. I went to bed early so don't ask me about the x-box experience. Managed to go to bed early so I could get up and meet the hottie for breakfast.

The breakfast went very well. Lots of talk, some gossip, lots of jokes. Gawd, cute smile. She is cuter in person and right now it's hours past our first meeting and my heart is still racing. She has a real good singing voice and is a strong person with a very sensitive side. Musically we have few things in common, but there's potential for corruption with a good choice of tunes. As first meetings go, things went well. I look forward to see her again.

Right now I don't care how things go, but it's nice to feel that elation, that rush that this type of situation creates. I wanted to spend my afternoon with her, but I had to go to work. I can't get her face and her smile outta my mind.

Yes, this boy is very freaking infatuated.
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Sorry for the lack of posts, but things are buzzing in my life. First off, lemme take a few seconds off my so-called life to jump up and down with joy

I'm meeting a hottie and I think she likes me (x20)

Ok. Settle down Beavis. Don't fucking jinx it. You know how these things go and you've been there before. It's been a while since someone actually interested date wise, so bear with me and fingers crossed.

An ex and I got together for dinner, conversation and coffee. It was uneventful except for the part that she wanted to get freaky, but unfortunately she doesn't do a thing for me these days. Oh well. I hope she gets her man. It's not me, unfortunately.

I'm meeting a hottie and I think she likes me (x20)

Ok. I better get to work or something. The drool on my chin is showing, I'm sure.

Update - blogger's acting up so sorry if this post comes up later than usual.

I Found Some Of Your Life

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I Found Some Of Your Life Beautiful. Simply Beautiful.

Newsday.com: Experts Study New Sign Language System

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Newsday.com: Experts Study New Sign Language System

CNN.com - Lost nuclear bomb possibly found - Sep 13, 2004

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CNN.com - Lost nuclear bomb possibly found - Sep 13, 2004: "Lost nuclear bomb possibly found"

HOLY SHIT BATMAN! Part 1
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Picked this up from Vero's blog.



How to make a popuman
Ingredients:

1 part jealousy

5 parts courage

1 part beauty
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Top it off with a sprinkle of lustfulness and enjoy!


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Jeanne came and went leaving some minor destruction on it's wake. Some idiot decided to cut power as a preventive measure and well, lot of good it did. On my place we only got some winds and some greenery took flying, but why in the blue hell my block does not have power while everyone around us does? God fucking mocks me. Well, at least we've got water. Meanwhile, given the current situation and the fucking slow speed that things move on here (fucking shame!) I guess I'll miss the start of the new season of The Wire, not to mention that if not for the fact that I went online today I would have to delete more spam in my mailbox (over 200 messages)

Anyway, the cineplex from hell opened and I had a chance to check out "Suspect Zero" and I got my second refund. Now some power please before the heat drives me absolutely fucking crazy.

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The show went well. There is some suffering amongst my circle of friends and I am trying to be as supportive as I can. I was so drained I went home instead of drinkydrinks and clubbing. My libido is on overdrive, but I decided long ago I was not gonna do something stupid or desperate in order to get some. Today is gonna be slow so I'm gonna be in bed and rest. Once the sun sets, there's lots of work to be done.


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I'm at the station about to get into two hours of the radio show and right now there's this emptiness inside. This hollow feeling. I mean, I am happy with my lot these past few days, but I its a nagging feeling. probably pre-show jitters.


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Thursday evening session with Pepe, Alf, Diana and Eze to watch Clerks, do some work and sleep three hours and a half so the cable guy could install the cable modem to Eze and Alf. Pizza, cokes, Clerks with the missing scene, Kevin Smith stoned and talking nonsense out of his butt. Fucking embarassing, but funny. Work. Slept in the couch comfortably. Got up early. Waited for cable guy. Cable guy does his thing. I set up thee router for them. Work. Lots of work. I almost fell asleep in the afternoon. Came home. Watching Underworld for the Nth time while updating the other laptop. Lots to do on Saturday and it's raining right now. Perfect time to sleep.

Got to finally watch "Party Monster". Really good flick. Yeah another with Macauly Caulkin. Heh.

In memoriam, the Chilean people whose government was overthrown by General Pinochet.

In memoriam, all the victims of terrorism. From both the right and the left.

In memoriam, the last conversation ever I had with the love of my life (as of this writing. the position is open and reviewing applications). Yes, she and hers are sorely missed.

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Took Vero out to dinner because she's been a great gal all this time and spoiled her rotten with some churrasco at Levi's. Then she returned the favor with ice cream. Much laughter, jokes and gossip ensued. Gotta love her. She's the greatest. She wants me to go with her to see Balun, but I don't know how tomorrow will end. Maybe. Hopefully if I can get all this shit together early. Fingers crossed. Thank you Vero for your conversations, your jokes, your company and being your bad ass pupup self.

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The Verve YAY!
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woke up early and actually made a shopping list. originally i wanted to shop for:

1. extra memory for my computer
2. a memory stick (will help a lot with my job so i can transfer data around faster)
3. black jeans
4. black shitkickes (black workboots with steel toes. fuck dr. martens and chekas. i don't have the budget for expensive overpriced crap)
5. black chuck taylors (hi tops)


i ended up with

1. returning the memory i bought because of the fact that what i needed was a single 512MB RAM SODIMM instead of another 256MB SODIMM (refund straight to my account)
2. a brand new memory stick. yay!
3. black jeans (which i'm wearing now)
4. black shitkickers (at home. they should be put to use soon)
5. black chuck taylors (hi tops). found a good pair cheap although i saw a pair in black and red that looked positively fucking wicked and would go nicely with my anarchy high cheerleader outfif (which i plan to use when i play with da pozzers)
6. teeehee. saw five lovely t-shirts at $4 each so i couldn't resist.
7. bought some blank videos for dad.

not bad, i just wished i could have the bloody memory thingie to upgrade the laptop. well checked online for some prices and i guess i'll hit compusa soon.






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Well kiddies it's been a few weeeks after Knoppix 3.6 is out and about. It works fine. I'm running a modification that allows KDE 3.3 to work with it. KDE is still tricky to work with on Debian systems as far as the 3.3 version is concerned, but thanks to Distrowatch found a version that works with Knoppix/Debian so I'm a happy camper. The downside is that you have to reinstall Openoffice.org from scratch and for me that's no bother, but then I have broadband, so choose wisely. The coolest thing with my experience with Linux is that allows me to think, research and get the info in order to see what's best for my system. I have found no reason to switch from Debian via Knoppix.

Anyway, I should get some rest. I got bills to pay tomorrow and a long day ahead of me. Dinner with Vero. Wheeeee!

Project Censored 2005 - Top 25 Censored Stories

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Project Censored 2005 - Top 25 Censored Stories
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Watching movies, sleeping, little or no direct human contact as possible. I like it. Not that I miss my friends and hanging out, but I need time by myself or rather I need heavy sedation. Sleep, reading and other stuff helps. Fuck 'reality', for now.
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Rehearsals went ok. The girls made dinner and it all sort of came apart afterwards, but it's cool. They wanted to go out, but I passed on. I didn't make the show either because I was very freaking tired. I must be getting old. Even, if I did, I had no money and I'd rather stay at home. Slept a couple of hours and here I am. Updating the computers and trying to get by. Nothing's good on the telly so I think I'll hit the sack soon.
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Good times for a change!

Spent my Friday evening with 3/4 of las nenas (albe, nady y vero) along with Figo and his girlfriend and watched Saved! Whatta riot! We laughed all the way and then we had some late night munchies. I had a blast and we traded the usual dose of jokes, gossip, innuendos and witty repartee. We're supposed to have rehearsal tomorrow so I went home early. Yet, here I am posting. I did went to bed to sleep but couldn't so....

Chatted with Kymill for a while. She's going through a rough time and I gave her some of my tough love. I hope she recovers soon and well, I hope she starts to sort things out on her end of the fence. She's one of the most sweetest persons around and she deserves a much better hand than the one she's been dealt.

Aside from that, there's a little thing I want to talk to someone, but I'll tell her when the time is right. It's nothing wrong, but some things are better discussed one on one and privately.

Eze and Serge are moving together this weekend. Wheeee! Fuuuuuun! Have a great (slave) Labor Day weekend!

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U2 - Bad

If you twist and turn away
If you tear yourself in two again
If I could, yes I would
If I could, I would
Let it go
Surrender
Dislocate


If I could throw this
Lifeless lifeline to the wind
Leave this heart of clay
See you walk, walk away
Into the night
And through the rain
Into the half-light
And through the flame


If I could through myself
Set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away
See you break, break away
Into the light
And to the day


To let it go
And so to fade away
To let it go
And so fade away


I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
Wide awake
I'm not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no


If you should ask then maybe they'd
Tell you what I would say
True colors fly in blue and black
Bruised silken sky and burning flag
Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes


If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go...


This desperation
Dislocation
Separation
Condemnation
Revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Let it go


And so fade away
To let it go
And so fade away
To let it go
And so to fade away


I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
Wide awake
I'm not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no


U2 - Running To Standstill

And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was
Lying still
Said I gotta do something
About where we're going


Step on a steam train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night
Singing ha, ah la la la de day
Ah da da da de day
Ah la la de day


Sweet the sin
Bitter taste in my mouth
I see seven towers
But I only see one way out


You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice


You know I took the poison
From the poison stream
Then I floated out of here
Singing...ha la la la de day
Ha la la la de day
Ha la la de day


She runs through the streets
With her eyes painted red
Under black belly of cloud in the rain
In through a doorway she brings me
White gold and pearls stolen from the sea
She is raging
She is raging
And the storm blows up in her eyes
She will...


Suffer the needle chill
She's running to stand...


Still.

U2 - Exit

You know he got the cure
You know he went astray
He used to stay awake
To drive the dreams he had away
He wanted to believe
In the hands of love


His head it felt heavy
As he cut across the land
A dog started crying
Like a broken hearted man
At the howling wind
At the howling wind


He went deeper into black
Deeper into white
Could see the stars shining
Like nails in the night
He felt the healing
Healing, healing
Healing hands of love
Like the stars shiny shiny
From above


Hand in the pocket
Finger on the steel
The pistol weighed heavy
His heart he could feel
Was beating, beating
Beating, beating oh my love
Oh my love, oh my love
Oh my love


My love


Saw the hands that build
Can also pull down



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Ok buddies, fucking Ivan is coming over here and unlike Frances, this seems to be coming straight towards us.

Not to drive people into hysterics but most of the names of hurricanes that hit us are males:

San Ciriaco
San Felipe
Hugo
Georges

So be careful. Don't go into panic, but be smart and be safe.

WinXP SP2 = security placebo? | The Register

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WinXP SP2 = security placebo? | The Register

Verrrrry Interesting.

CNN.com - Big Brother watches Britain - Aug 31, 2004

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CNN.com - Big Brother watches Britain - Aug 31, 2004

George Orwell eat your heart out!
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Boomtown Rats - Drag Me Down

Drag me down in colors pink and gold
(Like a ship that's going under..
Bring me home in rain and thunder)
Bless the night before the day grows old
(Like a ship that's going under...
Bring me home in rain and thunder)

Drag me down in colors pink and gold
(Like a ship that's going under...
I'll be home in rain and thunder)
Bless the night before the day grows old
(With pink and...With pink and gold)

It's just a moment of terror
A fraction of bliss
Your hearts in my mouth and
My soul's in your wrist
I love you I think
But is it always like this with you?

Tuck me up with stories I've been told
(Like a ship that's going under...
I'll be home in rain and thunder)
Then wake me up with days that come and go
(With pink and...With pink and...With pink and gold)

And when the record is over
The passion's been spent
The movie winds down and says "The End" in French
I'll turn on the lights
But do I have to pretend it's true?

I love you....oh, oh, oh, oh...
and...
I need you...oh, oh, oh, oh...

Drag me down, Drag me down, oh, oh, oh, oh...
Drag me down, Drag me down, oh, oh, oh, oh...
Drag me down in colors pink and gold.

**Taken from the album entitled "In The Long Grass"

If anyone can get me the lyrics to the song "A Hold Of Me" of that same album, gets my eternal thanks and I'll come up with a prize or something.

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Yet another actual post, for those brave (and foolhardy) souls who still bother to drop by. I look like crap. Yes, I know. The beard doesn't help. Not taking care of my health problem doesn't help either. In many ways, I am very happy, grateful and content with the fact that I have a proper job. It's not about that. My problem is with people, society, etc.

I asked my supervisor to let me come in at a shift where I can actually get some work done instead of waiting for everybody and their mother to finish. I don't have any gripes with my co-workers. At worst, indifference for some, at best some are really nice with me. I just have to be aware of their intentions, the gossip and backstabbing that takes place here. There are two people whom I fully trust here. A couple more whom I consider good enough to be more than acquaintances, and that's it. I always gotta work with eyes behind my back and ears aware of my surroundings. Anyway, this is not about my job.

This is about my life or lack thereof and where is it heading. Lack of sleep is making me irritable, tired and weary. I need some goddamn sleep. I've got two people that are interested in me currently. One I dealt with months ago, but we're still friends. The other is someone from the past that returned. She's hinting at the "third time's the charm" argument, but I don't feel anything more for her than respect, friendship, and a hint of lust. We had a past together, but right now I am in no mood to finish it or conclude it. I don't want to hurt either of them. I think I've had enough damage in my conscience to last me three lifetimes. Yeah, I complain about the lack of proper companionship and still do. They'll make good friends, but I ask and need a little more than that.

Even if someone I really fancy comes. What do I have to offer besides the sentimental and sexual part of a relationship? There are things I need to work out. Especially in my head. I need a place of my own, so I can feel comfortable. A place I can truly call home. Anyway, don't waste your time telling me what's wrong. I am aware of it. It's just a question of finding a good reason to actually do it. Right now, I'm just another survivor trying to get by. I probaby wrote this before, but right now I undertand the allure of drugs. It's still weak, but I understand that some people need to do them. To fill a void, a gap, to numb the greatest pain of all: the one I feel inside.

I try to look up to see how beautiful the sky is and try to keep my chin up. Right now, at this moment, I just can't. Eventually, I will. I never cared for material things, I just want love, peace and understanding. Lacking this three, I choose oblivion.

Ok, enough about me.


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There's a visitor via Yahoo UK/Ireland. In the slim chance that this visitor is someone very special and still dear and near to me after all these years, welcome back and you're still very missed. Drop me a line sometime. If not, you're still welcome.
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Some friends and known cybernauts in some of my usual hangouts have taken up blogging. Welcome and feel free to check them out.

Updated 9/2/04: I wonder how many of them will stick through, place yer bets, ladies and gentlemen.

Stamps Of Approval - August 31, 2004

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Stamps Of Approval - August 31, 2004

COOLEST PRANK EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!