Christ! How can I be happy and feel joyful about life and love in general when someone I care about is heart broken probably because it's my damn fault?

We *all* deserve to be happy. Even a wretch like me. If it's me the reason for your heart break, I am truly and deeply sorry because I've never [b]ever[/b] wanted to hurt you. You are a bright spot in my life and you've been a true friend whose been thru thick and thin, but if it's me who's hurting you because of what's happening to me right now, please try to understand.

I want to make you happy, but I also need to find if I can find happiness with this person I am starting to know. Perhaps it's nothing, perhaps it's something, but I need to find out. I need to know. I need this. I haven't felt this way about someone in a while, and like I said, God knows what will happen, but I have to pursue this. I have to give it a shot.

I don't want to feel unhappy. I don't want to feel alone. I don't want you to face that either. Please, pretty please. Again, I am sorry for hurting you, because you are the last person I want to hurt in this sorry life of mine.