Dear Lord:

Please don't send me any more psychically and emotionally damaged girls who were left by theirformer boyfriends and somehow end up IMing me and trying to be my friends expecting me to pick their pieces and giving me drama, aggro and all sorts of negativity. They're a waste of air, time, and resources. Worse, they waste my valuable time and limited resources that are better spent dealing with other issues in my life. I believe this humble servant deserves a bit better than the cards he's been dealt with lately. I'm sick and tired of dealing with them

I only ask of you someone who's intelligent, kinda cute, knows her films, arts, music, someone smart, witty, fun to be with, relatively sane, wise, funny, with a healthy libido, and a sick sense of humor to boot. If I can somehow find that woman and that woman somehow manages to fall madly in love with me, I'll be a very happy camper. Thank you for your time.

Your Humble Servant,

Me