Just in case you were wondering......here's a little tidbit. It goes like this: Your sexual personality is Zeta-ETDN-9.

Your sexual personality is determined by your sexual persona (Zeta), 4 sexual scales (Emotional/Physical, Look/Touch, Daring/Modest, Verbal/Non-verbal), and your libido score (9).

As a Zeta, the high degree of confidence you feel around your sexuality matches your level of experience. Your sexual confidence and awareness are particularly high, but your sex appeal is somewhat lower.

Ok so this week's been interesting and wonderful. The first lines of New Order's "True Faith" come to mind. Saw Pedro Almodovar's "Talk To Her". Really cool film. Great acting. Solid plot. Then finally got to see "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" in it's entirety and it's also great. Saw those two with someone whom I've been itching to see for quite a while and it was worth the wait. It was good seeing her. The next day it was the usual stuff at work but it was manageable. I'm getting this ad copy stuff down pat. My boss is a good teacher. Needless to say when I finally came home yesterday I was exhausted and crashed early. The weekend's coming. With a lot of possibilities. Gotta rehearse with the guys too.

Monday. A better day to start the week. Better possibilities. Yes, I'm in a good mood. ;)

A reunion of sorts of Descojon Urbano, my first band.
From L-R The Man Searching For Fun, Moi, Revkunin and Mista D@ve.

Here is the Sacred Brotherhood of Perpetual Decadence:

From L-R Moi, Gea Dante, Revkunin, Irtari and Synthetic Dreams.

Woot woot! ;)

Do yourself a favor. Rent Frailty. Now. It's that good. Just came home from a really cool show. Saw some friends I haven't seen in a while. It was all good fun.

I'm ok. Not much to tell. Missed a good show last night due to weather. It sucks. I slept last night due to extreme boredom. Not much to say really. I need to start programming the new songs and whatnot.

"It's a strange day
In such a lonely way"
- New Order

Starting my day with new possibilities
yet I had a recurring dream involving
a $200 bill and bills that need to get paid
Went to see some short films last night
The city being an empty shell
Monday night a holiday
and someone from the past
still on the Old City.
Amusing? Yeah.
Life goes on. See what comes up.

It's kinda funny. Got a job at an ad agency as a sound technician and writing ad copy and another translation gig panned out. Really interesting. Me likes. Aside from that I think it's time to get the dust off one of my old bands. Went with some of my bandmates to a Ramones tribute show and it was great to see them so yes, I want to play music again. Let's see how things turn out.

What Goth Are You?

So the flight went without a hitch. Came home just before noon. Right now I just had some interviews and I think I might have a job in my field after all. I don't know how things will turn out. At least it's good to see my friends and my family. I'll take things one day ar a time.

Ok the money came through
Tomorrow I'm off
O Happy Day!
"No don't sorrow
No don't weep
for tonight at last
I am coming home
I am coming home."
- U2 "A Sort Of Homecoming"

I'm still waiting for the money order to clear
starvation a very real possibility
that'd be a laugh.
The perfect punchline to end it all........

sleeping all day and all night
eating cheese sandwiches
drinking sodas
waiting
just waiting for......
escape?
redemption?
death?
i should be so lucky
wishing i was comfortably numb
still i drift
between states
or sadness, melancholy, dreamless sleep
i don't want to dream right now
'cause my dreams betray me
they always do
whether i'm awake or not.
no one will rescue me
but myself
thus, i wait.

Losing my center
Losing hope
Losing my mind
Regroup
Gather strength
Breathe
Right now I feel like dying
but I know I can't pull the trigger
take the poison
end it all
So I drag myself from the floor
and start all over
Where will this take me?
I don't know
but I'll find out soon enough

The best laid plans.......go astray.

Right now I have several choices:

Go to NYC but the original plan was seriously scrapped. My friend's not ready for a relationship. I'm not ready to deal with NYC without her on my side. I'd go there and move because of her. NYC is good to visit but I wouldn't settle down there. Not without proper company. Scratch that.

Go to PR. Unemployed. Stay with my parents. I'd be so happy to see my friends and gig again and I'd be so pissed to be unemployed and living with my parents. I'd rather kill myself. Yes. Suicide is preferable to that.

Stay in Whorelando. Make a few calls. See what's going on. Tough it out. I think this one's the wisest course of action for now.

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in (insert stroke here).

Take your stupid job and shove it! Right up your stupid backstabbing low life punk coward ass. I'm so happy I'm leaving this job and living this stupid town forever. Fuck you you Mickey Mouse wankers! That's what you're all, fucking cartoons. NYC here we come or maybe a stop home first. Whatever it is, fuck you Whorelando!!!!!!!!!!

In other news I've heard really good news of a close friend whose on the road to recovery and wellness. I hope I can help in whatever manner I can. I thought you were dead and you're not. I cried for you and I already mourned you but thank God you managed to prove us wrong. I hope you will win this battle my friend. I want to help you win it in whatever small way I can.

Thank you and good night!


Thank you and good night!

What type of vampire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Last time I checked I was hetero. What does this mean? Nikka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

Skint beyond belief and very fucking cold. And I'm not even in NYC yet. Still, I gotta get outta that job. I have potential for so much more and I can't afford to waste time there. Still it's all a big bad waiting game. Oh well. 22 days and counting.

Moving back to the ghetto. I liked the fact that I had DSL and all that, but promises were made but not kept. And I don't feel like walking for 40-50 mins home in the dead of night. Maybe if I had a bike, which I don't so fuck it, and fuck her. Fuck this lying stupid bimbo bitch. Fuck her up her stupid racist ass. Anyway, it's for the better, closer to my job, downtown and the city. I can get DSL and my own phone number later.

In other news, William Gibson's new novel "Pattern Recognition" is out on February. Woooooooo.

Well hello 2003! Nice to meet you and all. 2002 went in style. Had dinner and drinks at Rafi and Nuria's house, took some pictures, and we were joined by Jamar and Pipo and their girlfriends. It was a nice dinner and I had some righteous Cuba Libres with Lemon rum. Yummy. I called Liza my friend in NYC whom I'm about to visit soon. We greeted each other nicely and we exchanged pleasantries, kind words, and a lot of drunken sweet nothings. Can't wait to see her. I also called my Ma and my Da. I missed them and wished them well. By the time we made it to the Peacock Room for Rafi's DJ set, it was midnight. We hugged and kissed each other, wishing everyone the best for this year. Rhett J was finishing his DJ set and it was Sarah's turn. Sarah's a local DJ who plays a lot of electroclash and minimal techno. Nice pumping rhythm and good tunes. Then she ended her set with Prince's "Little Red Corvette" and Janet Jackson's "Control". Nevermind that I had half a bottle of Lemon flavored rum in my system, I had to laugh at that one.

Then Rafi was on the dex and his set went pretty well. I wasn't in the mood for drinking anymore liquor so I was dancing and drinking bottled water. Had a good blast dancing and taking pictures with my friends. Eventually I crashed at Rafi and Nuria's. Slept like a baby. Eventually woke up and turned the TV on to the soothing and calming sounds of Jerry Springer. WOOOOOOOOOO! Eventually we all woke up, had breakfast and R et N drove me home. Finished doing my laundry and here we are.

What are my goals for this year? Ok find a steady job. Good pay. Keep working on my words and music. Publish something. Have someone at my side. Simple, realistic (I think) and attainable (ha!), but I have to do it. Because I want to feel fulfilled and useful again. Ok enough ranting. Life has to be lived.

All the best for you and yours,

Jose