Monday comes and reality checks in. It's ok though. I mean.....

Saturday evening comes. I drive to her house and we meet. We play a bit of Human Traffic on the DVD to get in the proper mood for the evening's entertainment. Eventually we drive to see Paul Oakenfold. We get in time to see my friend Santos open the festivities. Slowly the place is getting packed with yuppies, clubkids and assorted nightlife. Santos gets the crowd moving and we make the rounds in the locale. They set up a really nice lounge to chill out when Dave calls and my phone dies. Anyway we meet several friends of ours from our jobs and acquaintances. It's getting to be really crowded but we just check out the music, order some beers and start dancing. At this point we're cool to each other but when we order the first round I get to kiss her and we smile. It was a really cool feeling. The next DJ (Oakey's official opener on his tour) comes along with a really cool set. We head to the dancefloor because ironically that's where it feels less crowded. We start dancing and getting into it.

Oakey comes in and the crowd goes wild. Granted that I can't stand his Jesus Christ Pose but the man has to be reckoned that he's a good DJ. Not my favorite DJ (I think Santos himself, Darren Emerson, Juan Atkins and Surgeon come to mind), but hey he gets the crowd dancing and happy. He goes through his set, the poses, we go through several beers, bottles of water and dancing. I'm drenched in my own sweat. She and I dance, snog, laugh like mad children without a care in the world. Then Oakey plays "Where The Streets Have No Name". I just lose it then and there. I was dancing in the front with her and I just get a boost of energy from that song. Granted, U2 has better songs (of the top of my head, "Bad", "Exit", "Acrobat" but you can't dance to them, can't you?) but mabe it's the fact that I'm peaking on my own endorphins and the combination of alcohol, dancing, having a good time, making fun of Oakey and the people around me that makes me lose it completely and abandon myself to become a mad screaming dancing dervish. I scream the lyrics to the top of my lungs while dancing and jumping. There's a camera crew filming the whole thing and it catches me. I see myself on the screens and I throw this incredibly wide grin on my face. Sheer pleasure. Rapture. Bliss. I don't care if all these yuppies and my friends are watching me. I'm having a blast then and there. I keep jumping, dancing, while Oakey catches my eye. I yell and mouth to him "OAKEY YOU WANKER! YOU FUCKING ROCK!" He reads my lips and grins. We seem to understand each other. He did his service as a DJ. Fucking rocking the crowd getting them dancing. I keep dancing and look at her. She's smiling. We kiss in the middle of the dancefloor without a care in the world. Eventually we head back home.

I'm drenched in my own sweat and she drives us to her place. I just realized I can't go to bed. Not like this. I slump on the sofa while she checks her emails. I tell her "I can't possibly go to bed like this". She looks at me. "There's a shower and a towel. Make the best of them." She loans me a t shirt and after my shower and her shower, we go to bed.

I come to the penthouse at 2 pm Sunday. I take care of my duties and I'm kinda drifting in limbo. I wanted to get some sleep and then pickup one of my buddies for dinner before he leaves for Florida for a month. She sees me online and asks me if I'd like to go shopping with her. No problem. We shop some stuff for her home office, blank cd's, etc. It's almost dinner time and I suggest her we call our friend and take him with us for dinner. She agrees and off we go. The three of us get into this really funny and insightful conversation about relationships, addiction, and things in between. We rent some movies to watch before going to take care of her home office. I get to work while my friend and her telephone a friend of hers to watch the movies. I miss part of "White Oleander" but heard it while taking care of her PC installing some new hardware. Once I finished I join the rest of them and we also get to watch "Igby Goes Down". Both films are really good and have some serious acting chops. Eventually it's time to go. Her friend leaves and we drop mine at his parent's house. I figure she'll drop me at the penthouse. She doesn't. I jokingly say "Three days in a row. You sure I'm not imposing?" She said no and kept on her way home. Once we get home we realize it's 4 am. Time to sleep. We get to bed with music. Some Soda Stereo is in order. I realize this is the last time I'll be with her for awhile. We get too much stuff going on during the week. She asks for a rub. She's ticklish. Then we end up having sex. First time we had it in a while. I mean, the day we are supposed to actually go to bed, but it was funny and very good.

Afterwards she asks me if I'm ok. She wants to make sure that we are on the same level. I tell her that the only think I ask of her is to be honest with me. I know she can't handle a relationship, but we do fancy each other. We care about each other in our way. We are honest about it. We can't afford to lie about it and about us. This happiness is transient and we just have to make the best of it. I don't think I'll hear her say "I love you". Ever. I won't fool myself to wait for the day that she will. I tell her "I want you" and I mean it more than the physical thing. I want her to be by my side. A friend. Lover. Kindred Spirit. So beautiful, smart, funny, witty. I am happy now and I know it will pass. I just want us to be happy. If she finds it with someone else, fine. If I find it with someone else, that's fine too. Meanwhile and just for a moment, we have each other. And that's damn fine.

Now back to work.