Let's blame this on my mood on this recent days, shall we? It's defintely a mix of indifference and numbness. There are some things in my life that shold be able to produce some kind of joy and honestly right now I don't give a crap about them. They are losing whatever meaning they had. Nothing makes much sense, except maybe the routine that I follow in my work. Well, at least I get paid and it's something that does not require a whole lot of attention from my part. I like my friends and they maeke the proper supportive noises and I appreciate it, really, but right now I feel nothing. Normally I shouldn't be affected, but I am. Actually whatever trust I had in people was affected. I had very little to begin with, right now it's almost dry. Honestly, I'd rather live these days in isolation from all of this for now. Unlike others, I'd rather be like this than to inflict myself into someone who is not to blame for what I'm going through.

I just came from going to the store to pick up some Coke. It was full of shoppers and the whole holiday spirit was beginning to spread. Full of noise and joy. Unfortunately for me, it was quite hollow, empty, boring. Paid for the goods and headed home. I enjoy my space, my silence, my darkness. Let me stew here for awhile. I'm sure Ill grow tired of it and eventually get back to business.