J:

First, off let me make clear that I cherish what little we had and thank you for sharing those moments with me. I don't ask much of life and I certainly didn't ask much of you because of your other commitments that I understand are way more important. I only asked of you to be honest, which you are, and I'm grateful.

I also asked you to share a little quality time together and in all fairness, I didn't require much at all. Like all human beings, I need time for companionship, love, affection, intimacy, conversation, or something as simple as you being there. Given your schedule, I didn't ask much.

Unfortunately it takes two to create a relationship and I thought we had a good basis to work on. I was wrong. It takes also some willingness from your part to make things work, which you don't have. I'm sorry that others before me didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated, but that's not my problem. I'm not responsible for the damage they gave you.

I deserve to be happy with someone that appreciates me for what I am and viceversa. I deserve someone who makes this world a little more livable and fun to be around with. I thought you were that person. I'm sorry that you don't believe yourself to be that person.

I really get upset when I see a wasted opportunity, a wasted chance to make something good, or when I see something with good potential thrown out the window and discarded like yesterday's trash. It's a damn shame what happened to us, because I believed that we had great potential, should we've chosen to take that route. Obviously, you don't.

So I take it upon myself to find someone who can. Someone to enjoy the good and the bad. Someone who can give some meaning to an otherwise meaningless existence. Someone who gets it. Someone who's not only a friend, but a lover as well. Someone with a sense of humor, wit and intelligence. Sensitive, passionate. With her own mind about things. I didn't ask much from you and I don't ask much from life. Formalities and all that bullshit mean nothing to me, because I only look for what matters. I thought you had it. I'm sorry you didn't realize that.

You're so beautiful and you have so much to give to the lucky one who manages to be with you. I'm glad I was lucky enough to be with you, even if it was for a short while. I'm sorry you don't have the courage and strength to give us a go, but I cannot stick around for something that won't happen. I value what little I have in life, but there are some things that I need in order to make this life worth living. Like the song goes "I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does". I'm sorry that you didn't choose to walk this path with me, but I cannot and will not force you. You are responsible for your own decisions, as I am of mine.

So being grateful for what we had, I walk away from you. Dissappointed because the potential was there for something good, but otherwise grateful. Thank you for what we shared. Thank you for bringing some light and happiness into this life of mine. It seems that we shined so bright and intensely, but it didn't last as long. Then again, better to burn out than to fade away.

I hope you manage to regain your confidence and trust in yourself. I hope that you manage to be able to once you regain that, you will find someone who will make your life worth living. I am alright, but this path I will walk alone. I will not bother you nor contact you. I think it's best because you'll have the space and time to take care of your things and I'll have the same. I'd rather part ways with a clean slate and little or no negativity between us.

Anyway, this is getting long, winding and repetitive so like the Indians say walk in beauty girl. Have a nice life. Thank you and good bye.

Moi

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Ok kids, move on, nothing to see here. A long day, a long conversation, longing for J. for two weeks and the inevitable conclusion. Shit happens, then you die. At least others around me are experiencing good things in the relationships department and I'm glad for them. Me? I'm just dissappointed but otherwise happy and eager to move on.