watched exotica in the wee hours in the morning. that's the perfect time to watch it unfold before you. elias koteas lone freak, mia kirshner's dancing, the works. watch the plot unfold, your brain a sponge. sucking it in. here i am. restless, sleepless. it doesn't matter whether i had a social life or not. unless i was at someone else's that time of night i'm too eager to sleep and too tired to do something besides sex. still i watch it, cause it's a good film. got a gig on thursday and betcha i might go out on tuesday night.
i don't miss going out as much as i miss being with friends. these days though, you really know where your real friends are. mine have always been few and far between. this time's no different. i'm not saddened by it, not bitter. i just call it as i see it. as it always is. right now i'm living my social life in my own terms. no expectations. no wasting time or money on people and things that are not worth it. seeing and talking with the people you really want to be around with. i'm no longer part of a 'scene', 'clique', 'group', whatever. i never was until i got into music, and then only with a few like minded souls. still all this shit about going out just because it's the weekend, didn't click at all. i go out when something's worth seeing, watching, experiencing. i'm back reading books. yeah, i'm still making music, but it's for my own pleasure and entertainment. every now and then i play only with like minded souls.
aside from that, another boring sunday. come, armaggeddon, come - morrissey. Heh.