Ok this is it. Kill me. Just take me out of my fucking misery. I can't stand living like this anymore. I'm counting down the days when I finally get my health benefits so I can see a doctor and get some medication. I mean St. John's Wort helps but it's not enough. I know I'm the one who got into this situation and I need to extricate myself from it. Progress is too freaking slow for my standards. I can't deal with all this bull that's happening around me. I actually look forward to work so I can take my worries away. I dread those days I'm off 'cause there's nothing going on. Just kill me. Please. Take me out. Leave enough evidence to verify that I'm dead. Lol. I seriously can't take anymore of the loneliness and the frustration. I can't take it anymore. I've been dreaming of suicides for the last few months and I know that is not the answer. I'm not that crazy but all this crap is slowly getting me there.

I'm supposed to record some stuff this Christmas with an old buddy of mine. Let's see what happens. I hope things change. Soon.