1 day until this year is over. Can't hardly wait.

So I got a printer and a desk for my computer. From me. That was Xmas for me. My friend is moving to Florida and I wish her godspeed. Wish I was up there to help her move. This is a sad Xmas and a pathetic excuse for year. Can't hardly wait for this shitty year to be done with.

Yeah you read right. Merry Fucking Christmas. Now go away. :D

Merry Fucking Christmas.

Ok this is it. Kill me. Just take me out of my fucking misery. I can't stand living like this anymore. I'm counting down the days when I finally get my health benefits so I can see a doctor and get some medication. I mean St. John's Wort helps but it's not enough. I know I'm the one who got into this situation and I need to extricate myself from it. Progress is too freaking slow for my standards. I can't deal with all this bull that's happening around me. I actually look forward to work so I can take my worries away. I dread those days I'm off 'cause there's nothing going on. Just kill me. Please. Take me out. Leave enough evidence to verify that I'm dead. Lol. I seriously can't take anymore of the loneliness and the frustration. I can't take it anymore. I've been dreaming of suicides for the last few months and I know that is not the answer. I'm not that crazy but all this crap is slowly getting me there.

I'm supposed to record some stuff this Christmas with an old buddy of mine. Let's see what happens. I hope things change. Soon.

So someone tried to lit some c-4 on their shoes. That's insane. I'm glad that this nut was taken down and out. This world keeps dragging me down. I bought myself a printer and a stand for my computer and all the little gadgets. I'm so sad and bored right now. It's incredible.

Anyone seen what's up in Argentina lately? So much for the blessed neoliberal economy eh?

Lord Of The Rings.......fucking hell....great movie......go watch it. Get your food and supplies aplenty. It's kinda long...

If I didn't walk away, tomorrow i would be on my way to you. Kind of funny that the best laid plans and all that......... Kind of funny the way things turned out to be. Live and learn.

Forgot to mention that yesterday I saw "Not Another Teen Movie." A good laugh had by Alberto, my sister and your truly. I also bought a printer and a table for the computer. So I guess those are my Christmas presents. :P

not much except some well-deserved rest and an interview....wheeeeee...........

I never thought it possible
I'm getting over you
Slowly
I'm already there
I'm sad it ended the way it did
but I'm glad I don't have the burden
the guilt, the tears
I'm sure it's the same on your side
but you have to deal with your burden too
and the fact that I left
If you call you're welcome
I still love you no matter what
but I gotta carry on
No matter what
So do you
If fate should join us again
I'd be glad
Take care

just when i thought i was done with stupid mentalities, they raise their ugly head.

If you are bored, press the links section to your left. My links randomized and you can even add your own, you lucky sods.

trimming down the links on my site. it's not going to be pretty.. :P

not much on my mind now except for having a really bad day. no comments for you... but i got a phone home now...

For the record: I think the Taliban are scum and should be wiped off the face of the Earth for what they've done to their own country for starters, but the video's kinda dubious, in my opinion.

So there's this new video around. Grainy quality that Osama appears to be taking the blame for it. Maybe it's just my paranoid self but video that grainy??? On this day an age. These are shieks we're talking mateys!!! They can well afford a good quality camera. Even if it's for surveillance and espionage. It's not that I don't buy it, but lots of things are very shady and dubious about this war. Someone wisely said: "The First Casualty Of War Is Truth".

Lack of sleep does wonderful things....
.....like giving me a 100% score on today's evaluation.
and some needed chocolates to sustain me through the day
tomorrow's word will be: payday.

By the way, the new Godflesh and Techno Animal records are the shiznit!!!!!!!
"Last Night" by The Strokes and the Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back soundtrack are keeping me happy.

To sleep, perchance to dream
I've been up all night for no reason.
It's better than laying about doing nothing.
At least I can still type.... :D :P
and more flyers to feast your eyes upon

Maybe its the bloody pills, maybe its because I realized that it was *me* who walked out on you because you didnt get your shit together after all this time, but i am starting to feel better and actually looking forward to a better tomorrow with myself or with someone else. you had your chance and you blew it. i love you with all my heart but you had your chance. if you want to keep your distance, do it. if you want to come back, my arms and my heart are yours, but baby we had a good thing going and you failed to do something so simple. i feel cheated because all the effort and money spent on fulfilling that dream. i will live and learn and i will always love you, but it was *you* not me. if you ever reconsider, drop me a line. like i said, ive never stopped loving you. i think i never will. that does not mean that i wont get over you and move on. i will. time heals all wounds.

hopefully in a few hours i'll be home sound asleep
:D :D :D :D :D
this weekend promises to be interesting too
beau sia has a new cd out you punk!
you better dig him because he rocks! thanks to daryl for introducing me to his talent.
you better check beau sia out and worship him fool!

and now gaze upon that lovely flyer below beatch!

Last night was fun
Danced my ass off
Met some beautiful ladies
A good time all around

just let go
suelta los amarres
y vuela
and fly
libre
free

The weekend.........
........The weekend

And our peace
is now in pieces
What else what
did you expect?
And we're nothing
and there's nothing left to do
Here it comes
The internal winter
Where innocence forgets
'cause we're nothing
and there's nothing left to do

- Godflesh "The Internal"

I just want to call you
and see how you're doing
I just want to know
how the kids are doing
I know money's tight on your end
so I wonder if you want me to send
the kids some presents
I know you don't me around
but the money doesn't know
where it came from
and I don't want them to spend
a sad Christmas.
I know we're over
but don't let them suffer

Tell me how does it feel?
When your heart grows cold?
- new order "blue monday"

I want to say I'm grateful
for what I have
What I don't have
I don't really need....
Then
why do I still need you?

I know I'm not innocent.
I never said I was
I guess it's crime and punishment
My conscience
The greatest torture of them all

I still miss you.
I still dream about you.
I still love you
I try to get you out of my mind and I can't
I wish I could bring closure, I really do.
I know I left and I have my reasons.
You couldn't commit.
You couldn't get here.
I can't stay there.
What do you want?
Stay there forever?
Going out of my mind because I can't see you?
because I cannot be with you?
because I can only be with you for weeks at a time
Instead of the rest of our lives?
Yeah, I walked away.
But what choice did I have?
What choice did you give me?
I just want to hear your voice
I just want to know you're ok
I just want to stay friends
As we promised....